| traveling... isn't it interesting, tempting, exciting...
Of course it is, I am addicted to traveling, since I remember, and for sure since last 6-7 years I am traveling a lot. One day Warsaw, second Amsterdam, them maybe Philippines, but I cannot stay there longer after the training because I am starting another one somewhere in Poland and of course in the mean time I have few "important" meetings.
I love this life. I do. Small problem is that Europe is a bit to usual for me right now and I need something more. I cannot get excited when I see something, even beautiful, even interesting, even when I have never seen it before. I am just going to another country, another place and feeling like at home, isn't it wired?
The most important thing in travelling are people. Mostly I am attending or leading different seminars, youth exchanges or other type of meetings, which aims are: intercultural learning, dialogue between cultures and so one. So mostly I am going to different country to meet people. And fuck!, I have to say that those who wanted integrate me with "others" (here I understand just other people, not from my city, those to whom I don't have easy access to) has really succeeded! Because of that when I want to complain of my university I am opening msn and chatting with friend from Egypt, when I want to talk about guys I am writing to friend from France or Latvia and in one moment it's better. I didn't know what to do during new years eve - I took the train, went to Prague and realized that there was much bigger group of friends who done the some. It was amazing.
But sometimes I am asking myself how is my life here, in the city where I live?
Do I have life here? I would say yes, it's not that bad. I have work and amazing people over there, I have some groups of friends from the "old times", I have university, but I will not call them friends. The problem is that I don't care; I don't care about those people as much as about my "others", foreigners.
I am afraid about myself. Lastly is even worser. I have two intensive months of travelling and most of the time I was with the some people (just different places). It was so intensive, we were living together, having stupid problems together, falling in love with each other, sharing our secrets (btw. this is easier with people whom you will not see again, therefore it is so integrating). And now I came back home and I cannot come back to my normal life. That life move to facebook. So in the office I am checking what's new. After school I am coming back home and looking on people's profiles. I can still see the conflicts which we had somewhere away. I am following how people are still flirting with each other (maybe even without knowing about that). There is our second life! I cannot believe. And what is the worse - it takes too much time!!!
When I am looking forward, I know that next year will be the some. I will get to know new people, spend with them few amazing month, doing everything with them and then I would move out to some other place. Shall I just avoid getting closer with people or shall I go like this and then miss "the moments". How to deal with it?
NEXT TIME: most probably I will write my theory about being homeless:) |
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