I want to be brave

Maybe this will be a big generalization, but I have the feeling that people are not saying what they want, they are afraid to be honest with themselves and other people, they are just hiding a lot of things, if they don’t fit to the general “rules”. Besides there are a lot of “forbidden” topics that they are never talk about. And I have the feeling I am as well like this to some extend.

Few days ago I was talking on skype with a good friend of mine. Something has happened and I felt weird about it, I didn’t plan to share it with anyone, but it happened that we started talking as well about this situation. It helped. We both realized that it is good to talk with other people openly, honestly and without judging.

There are a lot of situation like this, that speaking up really helps. For example:

a) In your friends circle – it is never so perfect that people always feels comfortable with each other. Even your best friend might be hurting you (or u hurting your best friend) without realizing it. How much easier would be solve this in the very beginning then wait and wait and let your problems grow

b) In flirting – how easy it would be to tell someone you like about it instead of playing games of getting each other lasting sometimes few years, or what’s worse doing nothing. It seems so simple to go to someone and say – I like you, maybe we can go out sometimes, but in the reality it isn’t;

c) In the relationship – well I am not a specialist from that but there are very often questions unasked, and usually those questions are not even asked directly, like where is it going, or what do we like, what do we want etc. But I guess one of the most difficult thing is to talk about feelings. You can be with someone and still feel very insecure, you want to say what you feel to this second person and you can’t, you want to hear that the second person feels about you, but you can only guess…

d) In the professional life – in this case there might be a lot of situation that speaking up is useful like getting with the initiative to make a project, applying for the higher position, talking to your boss about salary raise, of even while looking for a job, instead of sending CV just to go to your favorite place and sell yourself. Say what you want, knowing as well what are u capable of.

These is one more category, that I have no idea how to call, maybe just life – there are a lot of topics that people are not talking at all, those you think embarrassing things can become normal. I have this friend of mine, with whom we talked about a lot of different things like typical stuff – guys, relationships, drinking, feelings and a lot of our experiences concerning that stuff. Finally I realized that all those things I thought are not normal aren’t. I started feeling more secure, more comfortable. The problem is that usually people are lying, are pretending and describing themselves as someone totally different. They are creating the untruth image, and thanks to that unrealistic standards of behavior that people wants to follow but are unreachable.

I want to become this honest and brave person, who can independently decide about her life, and not follow the others, not being scared to get what I want, to talk about my feeling, to break the rule of following usually fake social rules. I want to be brave, but I am even hiding this blog. I guess no one is reading it… so this is my honesty for today!