Maybe this will be a big generalization, but I have the feeling that people are not saying what they want, they are afraid to be honest with themselves and other people, they are just hiding a lot of things, if they don’t fit to the general “rules”. Besides there are a lot of “forbidden” topics that they are never talk about. And I have the feeling I am as well like this to some extend.
Few days ago I was talking on skype with a good friend of mine. Something has happened and I felt weird about it, I didn’t plan to share it with anyone, but it happened that we started talking as well about this situation. It helped. We both realized that it is good to talk with other people openly, honestly and without judging.
There are a lot of situation like this, that speaking up really helps. For example:
a) In your friends circle – it is never so perfect that people always feels comfortable with each other. Even your best friend might be hurting you (or u hurting your best friend) without realizing it. How much easier would be solve this in the very beginning then wait and wait and let your problems grow
b) In flirting – how easy it would be to tell someone you like about it instead of playing games of getting each other lasting sometimes few years, or what’s worse doing nothing. It seems so simple to go to someone and say – I like you, maybe we can go out sometimes, but in the reality it isn’t;
c) In the relationship – well I am not a specialist from that but there are very often questions unasked, and usually those questions are not even asked directly, like where is it going, or what do we like, what do we want etc. But I guess one of the most difficult thing is to talk about feelings. You can be with someone and still feel very insecure, you want to say what you feel to this second person and you can’t, you want to hear that the second person feels about you, but you can only guess…
d) In the professional life – in this case there might be a lot of situation that speaking up is useful like getting with the initiative to make a project, applying for the higher position, talking to your boss about salary raise, of even while looking for a job, instead of sending CV just to go to your favorite place and sell yourself. Say what you want, knowing as well what are u capable of.
These is one more category, that I have no idea how to call, maybe just life – there are a lot of topics that people are not talking at all, those you think embarrassing things can become normal. I have this friend of mine, with whom we talked about a lot of different things like typical stuff – guys, relationships, drinking, feelings and a lot of our experiences concerning that stuff. Finally I realized that all those things I thought are not normal aren’t. I started feeling more secure, more comfortable. The problem is that usually people are lying, are pretending and describing themselves as someone totally different. They are creating the untruth image, and thanks to that unrealistic standards of behavior that people wants to follow but are unreachable.
I want to become this honest and brave person, who can independently decide about her life, and not follow the others, not being scared to get what I want, to talk about my feeling, to break the rule of following usually fake social rules. I want to be brave, but I am even hiding this blog. I guess no one is reading it… so this is my honesty for today!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
the name of my blog
I simply dont like the name of my blog. Well the subtitle - memories from the world is still quite ok, but I don't like the address - traveling-aga!!!!!! That is so boring...
I know that noone is reading it, or almost noone. I know that this is mostly for me to catch up with myself, and write few texts to come back to it later. And especially because it is only for me, I want to have it perfect, interesting, cool.
I want to have the name with more metaphorical meaning, I have seen so many cool names, why I cannot get creative and change it?
I know that noone is reading it, or almost noone. I know that this is mostly for me to catch up with myself, and write few texts to come back to it later. And especially because it is only for me, I want to have it perfect, interesting, cool.
I want to have the name with more metaphorical meaning, I have seen so many cool names, why I cannot get creative and change it?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Globalization – hate it, but cannot live without!
Normal people has problems with school, work, friends or I don’t know – that the pet is hungry and they have to go back home and feed it. I am not normal – I have a lot of strange thought going on in my head, which I guess are not typical for the “standard” young person. In my head is globalization, but I don’t like this word so much (it’s kind of scary), so I will replace it in this text with something else – maybe “green”!
I am wondering how much green influenced my own, very private life, and how my life would look like without it. Right now I can easly say that I am a global citizen (of course thanks to green). And I don’t think so because of some higher ideas, no! There is a lot of proofs from my daily life, being global citizen it is not a choice or something what I wanted. It just happened! I am waking up in the morning and opening my computer and checking e-mail. There is always a lot of them, because I am “living in a few different time zones”. Then I go to school or to the office, listen to some Arabic music (recently mainly Amr Diab, but as well a bit of Spanish), when I am bored in a bus I text some of my friends (and believe me not those from Poland). My job (what is not really a job, but what I am doing right now) is to contact filmmakers from all around the world and get their movies to my film festival. The second job is to write youth project, of course international one, or help my friends and partners white them, and many other stuff… My school – well I have right now only online classes with “classmates” from Czech Republic, Germany and UK, but originally from Pakistan, Russia, Belarus, Slovakia, South Africa, Croatia and maybe something more.
I realized that there is something wrong with me during new years eve. At first I was trying to follow each hour in which time zone people are celebrating now, secondly I was texting with my friends from four different continents and I guess I was enjoying it more then the party (well I had already a drinking party via skype!)
I have to admit – green conquered my life. There are basically no limitations. The communication via phone became very cheap, especially within Europe, but there is as well skype for free. The transportation is rather cheap as well, you have friends everywhere that they can host u, if not u can find some via different portals. Besides there are still different projects that let you (or sometimes u just have to) go around the world. Culture differences are not a problem anymore, at least not for me, I feel already the same everywhere (and for sure I don’t feel that Poland is my home). I guess there is only one limitation for green – visas (but it’s totally other topic).
Yes, it was nice to travel, make new friends, experience new cultures etc. But it was nice few years ago. Right now my life is design by green and it doesn’t feel comfortable anymore. I don’t know what I really dislike in this. Maybe that I don’t have my place I can call home, maybe saying goodbye permanently or maybe that I simply cannot fit into the environment I suppose to live, into the environment of xenophobic Polish people and really interesting polish boyfriends :)
It bothers me that in this greened world I don’t really have my privacy and everyone knows everything. I have already limited access to my facebook for around 90% of my “friends”. I went through my online profile and deleted most of the stuff I have found about me (if it was possible to delete). But in this greened world somehow it happens that everyone knows everyone, people talk, gossip exchange information about the others. It might happen that you will do something and the next month some friends from the other part of the glob will know about it, through the strange chain of connections. On Monday I have to go to the airport, who knows what will happen… whom I will meet…
Friday, October 9, 2009
Why Barack Obama got a Peace Nobel Prize?
Thanks to Nobel Committee in the next few days the world will talk about Barack Obama and why he won the Peace Nobel Prize. The official explanation was: “The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided that the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009 is to be awarded to President Barack Obama for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples.”
In the rest of the official announcement we can find same other arguments for Obama like:
- Obama's vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons
- Obama has as president created a new climate in international politics
- Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position
- Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving international conflicts
- The vision of a world free from nuclear arms
So the question that world is asking today is – ok all of this is nice, but is it enough to get the prize? Until I will get to my opinion in this field, I want to open the new topic – how does it happen that Obama got a nomination. There is a very limited group of people who can submit the nomination to Oslo. Only presidents of the countries, parliaments and I guess prime ministers and do it. It mean that only the country authorities can propose someone for nomination. I am so curious which country nominated Barack Obama? For sure it was not United States of America…
Barack Obama is a very good diplomat, and actually even during the elections there was a big hope that he will positively influence the climate of the international community. Right now I have no idea what is he doing with domestic policy, but I appreciate his foreign policy a lot. For me the most important action of Barack Obama was to cancel building elements of the missile defence system in Poland. It shows that he prefers the way of dialogue not armament. As well this action is a very important step in the relation with Russia and Iran, having in mind that those countries were extremely against it.
As well Obama is trying to be a part of the Middle East peace process. He express it during his first days of the presidency, when the first person he officially called was the prime minister of Palestine. Then we have his visits in the Middle East with the famous speech in Cairo. Actually it was not famous in Europe, not at all, but I spent the whole summer in Egypt and I was talking to many strangers of the street, and same friends, different people in general. The topic of Obama’s speech in Cairo was coming back very often, and always with a big hopes.
Let’s be honest. Right now Obama is the most influential person in the only world superpower, what mean in the whole world. And we all know that actions of the US president are important. Looking backward of the last 8 years of the Bush presidency we can see the difference between them, how much the world depends on their actions, words and even small gestures! Obama is taking his chances, is making a small steps in the direction to peace. Yes he is doing nothing special, noting that isn’t part of his everyday “job description”, but he is doing it in a right way – the way of dialogue. So maybe Obama doesn’t deserve this prize, but the world does.
For me this Nobel Prize has to meanings – first it is antiBush prize, that shows the world that we didn’t like the politics of Bush and his administration, and that is example for the world leaders what not to do. Secondly, it is prize for the world and the future. It is almost like with Al Gore and climate change, the prize was awarded to show the world the direction, to appreciate the small things that make a real change, to underline same good practices in the international community that are implemented right now. This is not a prize for Barack Obama, it is a prize for dialogue and mutual understanding as a tool for achieving peace.
In the rest of the official announcement we can find same other arguments for Obama like:
- Obama's vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons
- Obama has as president created a new climate in international politics
- Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position
- Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving international conflicts
- The vision of a world free from nuclear arms
So the question that world is asking today is – ok all of this is nice, but is it enough to get the prize? Until I will get to my opinion in this field, I want to open the new topic – how does it happen that Obama got a nomination. There is a very limited group of people who can submit the nomination to Oslo. Only presidents of the countries, parliaments and I guess prime ministers and do it. It mean that only the country authorities can propose someone for nomination. I am so curious which country nominated Barack Obama? For sure it was not United States of America…
Barack Obama is a very good diplomat, and actually even during the elections there was a big hope that he will positively influence the climate of the international community. Right now I have no idea what is he doing with domestic policy, but I appreciate his foreign policy a lot. For me the most important action of Barack Obama was to cancel building elements of the missile defence system in Poland. It shows that he prefers the way of dialogue not armament. As well this action is a very important step in the relation with Russia and Iran, having in mind that those countries were extremely against it.
As well Obama is trying to be a part of the Middle East peace process. He express it during his first days of the presidency, when the first person he officially called was the prime minister of Palestine. Then we have his visits in the Middle East with the famous speech in Cairo. Actually it was not famous in Europe, not at all, but I spent the whole summer in Egypt and I was talking to many strangers of the street, and same friends, different people in general. The topic of Obama’s speech in Cairo was coming back very often, and always with a big hopes.
Let’s be honest. Right now Obama is the most influential person in the only world superpower, what mean in the whole world. And we all know that actions of the US president are important. Looking backward of the last 8 years of the Bush presidency we can see the difference between them, how much the world depends on their actions, words and even small gestures! Obama is taking his chances, is making a small steps in the direction to peace. Yes he is doing nothing special, noting that isn’t part of his everyday “job description”, but he is doing it in a right way – the way of dialogue. So maybe Obama doesn’t deserve this prize, but the world does.
For me this Nobel Prize has to meanings – first it is antiBush prize, that shows the world that we didn’t like the politics of Bush and his administration, and that is example for the world leaders what not to do. Secondly, it is prize for the world and the future. It is almost like with Al Gore and climate change, the prize was awarded to show the world the direction, to appreciate the small things that make a real change, to underline same good practices in the international community that are implemented right now. This is not a prize for Barack Obama, it is a prize for dialogue and mutual understanding as a tool for achieving peace.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Koszmarowa chellange
Same people may think that studying is difficult, that you have to spend hours in the library, read a lot of book, memorize tons of theory, prepare special project, write thesis etc. My university is a special case. We have one additional challenge and when you complete it everything else seems to be a pace of cake.
I tried to complete this mission today, it was hard but I survived. I woke up few minutes after 6 a.m. it was totally dark outside. I just collect my stuff and run out not to miss my bus. There are only 2 per hour and sometimes are coming to early, sometimes very late, sometimes not at all. But recently I am lucky, it takes me only 30 minutes to get to the city center and from time to time I have even place to sit down.
It’s getting complicated later, when I have to change the bus. At first short walk to the next bus stop and then waiting. There is only one bus going directly to Koszmarowa, and students from five different institutes who wants to get in. You never know when and if it will come…
When you see the bus coming into your direction it means it’s time to get ready. It’s always good to take same cloths off, hide everything in your bag, grab it into your hand, find a good spot and wait. The bus is always full. You cannot be sure that you will get in. It is important to be fast, push people as much as possible, and if you manage to put one fit in the bus, but you are out and doors cannot close because of you, don’t give up, you can always push people more.
It is so good feeling to look outside, see this bunch of people angry that they didn’t get in and knowing that you have a chance to be on time. In this moment nothing bothers you, even the different smells of sweat, and that people are touching you everywhere and pushing, twisting and so one. It is sometimes painful when the bus makes the turn and all the people are falling on each other.
Usually it is consider as a luck be close to doors, because on each stop you have a chance to get same fresh air or feel the cold breeze from outside. But being close to the door means as well that you might be kick out from the bus (for example if someone wants to get out) and never come back again.
Koszmarowa is a last stop. Usually the bas never comes on time because of the traffic and long breaks on each stop. And even after this sacrifice, extremely tired, smelly and in pain you may not get into the class because you came few minutes to late.
btw. KOSZMARowa literally means nightmare :)
I tried to complete this mission today, it was hard but I survived. I woke up few minutes after 6 a.m. it was totally dark outside. I just collect my stuff and run out not to miss my bus. There are only 2 per hour and sometimes are coming to early, sometimes very late, sometimes not at all. But recently I am lucky, it takes me only 30 minutes to get to the city center and from time to time I have even place to sit down.
It’s getting complicated later, when I have to change the bus. At first short walk to the next bus stop and then waiting. There is only one bus going directly to Koszmarowa, and students from five different institutes who wants to get in. You never know when and if it will come…
When you see the bus coming into your direction it means it’s time to get ready. It’s always good to take same cloths off, hide everything in your bag, grab it into your hand, find a good spot and wait. The bus is always full. You cannot be sure that you will get in. It is important to be fast, push people as much as possible, and if you manage to put one fit in the bus, but you are out and doors cannot close because of you, don’t give up, you can always push people more.
It is so good feeling to look outside, see this bunch of people angry that they didn’t get in and knowing that you have a chance to be on time. In this moment nothing bothers you, even the different smells of sweat, and that people are touching you everywhere and pushing, twisting and so one. It is sometimes painful when the bus makes the turn and all the people are falling on each other.
Usually it is consider as a luck be close to doors, because on each stop you have a chance to get same fresh air or feel the cold breeze from outside. But being close to the door means as well that you might be kick out from the bus (for example if someone wants to get out) and never come back again.
Koszmarowa is a last stop. Usually the bas never comes on time because of the traffic and long breaks on each stop. And even after this sacrifice, extremely tired, smelly and in pain you may not get into the class because you came few minutes to late.
btw. KOSZMARowa literally means nightmare :)
Friday, October 2, 2009
What really happened in Agamy?
Agamy was my neighborhood. It is a place in Egypt, part of the city Alexandria in Egypt, but most of the people count it as something separate, because to get there you have to spend around 45 minutes in the bus, or take a car and use highway. A lot of locals called Agamy the Egyptian Ibiza, because of the specific atmosphere of this place.
Agamy is it not like part of the city. It is typical holiday place, where rich people from Alex and Cairo have their summer houses. It is famous of the beaches as well, although I didn’t enjoy it that much, and clubs. If anyone who is reading this actually was in the European summer spot believe me it is not the same, but for the Egyptian conditions – yes they have places to go out, to buy beer and a lot of people hanging out late at night.
I used to live in the most adventurous/cosmopolitan/fancy place in Agamy – Bianky (Bitash). What surprised me there is that I really couldn’t feel there like in Egypt. I am not sure if I have ever seen veiled women over there (besides cashiers working in Fathalla and nannies of the rich kids), but for sure I have seen a lot of people walking in the swimming suits back homes, kids (for me maximum 14) who where pouring out pepsi on the sand, just to hide still cold Heineken in the same can and drink it next to their parents. I smelled a lot of drugs, especially Thursday and Friday nights walking next to Fathalla (supermarket), I could find there around 50 totally high teenagers. And of course even around 2-3 am I could find kids that I was working with left alone, racing in their beach buggies and who were around 12 years old.
Yes Agamy it was the place in Egypt famous of sex, drugs and alcohol, and not thanks to foreign tourists
In the same time me and three other girls from Europe (The Netherlands and Greece) were living in the nice apartment on the street number one. We had out good and bad moments, we were going to parties, or just hanging out, we were going to swim and of course to work (from time to time), we were dancing in out apartment, cooking and having the morning coffee (at least two of us), we were making new friends, we had own dramas, we were simply trying to have fun and enjoy our summer together.
So after this introduction you might be curious what really happened? What is this post for?
Well, we were there officially on the Aiesec internship (maybe later about it). During our first days we were just told how dangerous is everything, same people (younger then us) tried to make same restrictions, don’t let us go out alone, don’t let us invite people over – especially boys, they were freaking out when they got to know that we took the bus to Alex downtown. But they told us only what we cannot do, they didn’t offer (suggest) anything besides drinking with them. So we had out own, very normal, nice life.
Just before I left one of those people came to a friend of mine who was sometimes part of our life Agamy life, and he announced: “I know what happened this summer in Agamy”. Then I was trying to think what he might be referring to, and I realized I really had interesting summer.
I will discover more details from our Agamy life soon…
Agamy is it not like part of the city. It is typical holiday place, where rich people from Alex and Cairo have their summer houses. It is famous of the beaches as well, although I didn’t enjoy it that much, and clubs. If anyone who is reading this actually was in the European summer spot believe me it is not the same, but for the Egyptian conditions – yes they have places to go out, to buy beer and a lot of people hanging out late at night.
I used to live in the most adventurous/cosmopolitan/fancy place in Agamy – Bianky (Bitash). What surprised me there is that I really couldn’t feel there like in Egypt. I am not sure if I have ever seen veiled women over there (besides cashiers working in Fathalla and nannies of the rich kids), but for sure I have seen a lot of people walking in the swimming suits back homes, kids (for me maximum 14) who where pouring out pepsi on the sand, just to hide still cold Heineken in the same can and drink it next to their parents. I smelled a lot of drugs, especially Thursday and Friday nights walking next to Fathalla (supermarket), I could find there around 50 totally high teenagers. And of course even around 2-3 am I could find kids that I was working with left alone, racing in their beach buggies and who were around 12 years old.
Yes Agamy it was the place in Egypt famous of sex, drugs and alcohol, and not thanks to foreign tourists
In the same time me and three other girls from Europe (The Netherlands and Greece) were living in the nice apartment on the street number one. We had out good and bad moments, we were going to parties, or just hanging out, we were going to swim and of course to work (from time to time), we were dancing in out apartment, cooking and having the morning coffee (at least two of us), we were making new friends, we had own dramas, we were simply trying to have fun and enjoy our summer together.
So after this introduction you might be curious what really happened? What is this post for?
Well, we were there officially on the Aiesec internship (maybe later about it). During our first days we were just told how dangerous is everything, same people (younger then us) tried to make same restrictions, don’t let us go out alone, don’t let us invite people over – especially boys, they were freaking out when they got to know that we took the bus to Alex downtown. But they told us only what we cannot do, they didn’t offer (suggest) anything besides drinking with them. So we had out own, very normal, nice life.
Just before I left one of those people came to a friend of mine who was sometimes part of our life Agamy life, and he announced: “I know what happened this summer in Agamy”. Then I was trying to think what he might be referring to, and I realized I really had interesting summer.
I will discover more details from our Agamy life soon…
Good to be back
I went out earlier. Someone offered me a ride but I didn't take it. I was going to meet same friends in on of the bars in the city center, but before that I really wanted to enjoy my city, again.
It has been 3 months since the last time I was anonymous, person in the crowd, that no one is looking at (or I would rather say staring at me), that can walk fast or slow, depends on the mood, stop next to each bookstore, have a big smile on the face. And all of this without even suspicious that someone is following, looking or other strange things. And I bought earrings and necklace on the street. Then my mood was even better.
This time I was observing people. Well I am doing it often, but this time I could observe different people. This day I found the first difference between Wroclaw and Alexandria. I realized that here we have more diversity on the street. During the short walk I have seen girl in the amazing dress (red one with flowers) on the bike, few people in suits running somewhere, two very low class guys wearing dresses (fake adidas), people with dreadlocks, blond, brunets, black hair people, people with earrings all over the body, the very old couple holding hands, and a big bunch of typical Poles (especially guys) who simply looks ugly.
And the best was, that during the whole walk through the city center no one talked to me. Even when I was buying my earrings the whole conversation was:
me: how much?
answer: 10 PLN
me: fine (I paid); goodbye
and it was all:)
It has been 3 months since the last time I was anonymous, person in the crowd, that no one is looking at (or I would rather say staring at me), that can walk fast or slow, depends on the mood, stop next to each bookstore, have a big smile on the face. And all of this without even suspicious that someone is following, looking or other strange things. And I bought earrings and necklace on the street. Then my mood was even better.
This time I was observing people. Well I am doing it often, but this time I could observe different people. This day I found the first difference between Wroclaw and Alexandria. I realized that here we have more diversity on the street. During the short walk I have seen girl in the amazing dress (red one with flowers) on the bike, few people in suits running somewhere, two very low class guys wearing dresses (fake adidas), people with dreadlocks, blond, brunets, black hair people, people with earrings all over the body, the very old couple holding hands, and a big bunch of typical Poles (especially guys) who simply looks ugly.
And the best was, that during the whole walk through the city center no one talked to me. Even when I was buying my earrings the whole conversation was:
me: how much?
answer: 10 PLN
me: fine (I paid); goodbye
and it was all:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)