Memories from the world

Partnerships in youth projects

2011-11-01T15:42:00.003+01:00

I think I will start the new category and add my few comments about this what I see how the international youth work in Europe works.

And for the first topic I wanted to comment partnerships. Long time ago, might write ¨when I was younger, so much younger then today¨, each project that I was doing was a treasure. Was something that I dedicated a lot of time and energy and it was part of my life. And of course there were problems, but I always had a feeling that I ahve a great team (parterns) and we are doig stuff together! And always people gave me the motivation to continue!

Right now what I see the biggest nightmare of each project is how to find partners and then how to find participants. The yhoo mailing groups, as well as facebook groups are overcrowded. First if you need a partner just post one mail there and in one hour you will have the scans of part III. People over there can provide you everything, y want part III (document that confirms partnership) you have it, you need specific profile - you have it, you don´t want tons of questions type ¨can Turkey/Georgia/Macedonia (etc) participate¨ - well you have it!

But let´s be honest, when your boss two days before the deadline tells you find partners, as well not knowing a lot about the project, what can you do - go online and have all the part IIIs within an hour. but what next?

I have just checked the facebook groups, what can we find there today! And in teh first one:
- Very Urgent!!!! We are Looking for 2 romanian participants for a Training course!! (5 days before the training)
- Urgent call for 2 Croatian Participants for a TC (4 days before the training)
- Looking for participants from Spain, Germany, Italy, Poland or Lithuania for an approved Training (...) in Armenia (5 days before the training)
- Association (...) from Macedonia is urgently looking for 2 participants from Croatia, 1 participant from BiH, 1 participant from Russia (with valid schengen visa) and 1 participant from Ukraine (with valid schengen visa) for a Training Course - 2 days before the training, and here comes the issues of visa as well;)

And because today is 1st of November (deadline) on one group where people were trying to look for the partners for the last 2-3 days congratulate everybody for wonderfull job, and wished all the projects will be approved (please not!).

Honestly, making the projects only to do them, because they might be approved, and then fighting with organization, trying to find participants in the last moment, who are mostly very random, and doesn´t necessary have a profile needed is pointless. I did it as well, but experience teaches. And I don´t want to continue like this.

My suggestion:
- those people who are spending tons of time on facebook preparing the projects should move their asses and go to one project my themselve and fint partners there. Why not write the project within one facebook group to establish partnerships...
- before preparing the project think if it is really worth to prepare something that noone wants to take part (and the motivation that I need money is not enough)
- make the projects with your partners, make the needs analisis, it is really worth to make a project that is usefull
- and I think that we should open the discussio about the partnerships and quality of the projects, because I don´t want that my taxes will be spend on the projects that sucks (and remember the differece between project and activity - I am not comenting the second one. And I don´t want that the youth sector in Europe will have a bad fame, I have already spend a lot of time explaining that my work is not international drinking activity.

Ups and downs of being adult.

2011-08-31T19:49:00.001+02:00

Finally I have reached that age that I feel adult. I don´t know if it is about the age (I am only 27) or it is because I have changed my life style. I have seen that my needs and aspiration changed, as well as my habits. Like some time ago inviting people for a dinner Friday night would be really strange, it is what my parents does from time to time, but right now I am doing it very often and enjoying a lot. I can notice that my way of thinking, values are different then of 18 years old kids. I can notice some significant change between me and them (I wanted to say the change of generation that would fit into this situation but it happens usually every 15 years).

I feel smart, I feel satisfied, I feel I am on a right way with my career, I feel liked, I feel I am doing something meaningful, I feel happy. It is totally not like I have imagined it, that the adult file is boring, consist only of work, home, house work and raising children. That adults cannot do many things anymore. I realized it is totally not true. I have time to be a kid again, and to do stuff I have never had time to do because there was always school, exams, some house work, or activities that my parents told me to do. I can do all the things that I enjoyed when I was younger, and in terms of parties some of them are even crazier. And the life got more comfortable. I have my flat where I can invite whomever I want and do there whatever I want. Many of my friends have cars, what makes life more easier. As well I have time and money to enjoy my life, because work is one things, and after work is for whatever I want.

And downs… I don´t see a lot. I think that thanks to being adult I realized that life is flowing so fast that I should enjoy it as much as possible, and I am doing it.

Lorca after the earthquake

2011-05-17T22:32:00.002+02:00

The life is slowly coming back to normality. It is Monday, for many the first day of work after ¨terremoto¨. There is a lot of people on the streets slowly moving in the direction of their working place. I am one of them. It is and it is not hot and cold in the same time. For the first time I take some of the small streets and as the majority I try to avoid the side walk. I have time to discover which houses are green and which red. Many roads are closed so I am walking around like the tourist who lost his way. I am talking out my camera to take a photo of the places I liked. I don´t enjoy taking photos of destroyed buildings, I prefer to picture the life on the streets. Almost everything is new, just the habit of drinking a coffee with friends in the morning didn’t change.

For me the proof that everything come back to the reality is when I see the people selling lottery, although there is not a big interests in lottery today. I guess we already used all our luck. Streets looks like ¨after the earthquake¨ but the people used to this view. There is only one place that is different, in each sense – acampamiento, that many of my friends call refugee camp.

Acampamiento it is the now home for over 2000 people, who lost their houses during the terremoto. Most of them are migrants with the few exceptions – gypsies. My first impression about his place is that it looks like the prison. From outside there are grating. People are communicating with their friends who are on the other side through them. Inside there is a fight for survival. Besides those lucky one who managed to get place in the tent, many people still live without the roof, making beds from cartoons and, houses from the blankets they got, which pretend to be a walls. No roof included and the weather forecast is not promising. Cold and raining.

It took them just few days in acampamiento to developed their new culture, and change the daily habits. Over there, there is a fight for survival. They sleep, pass their time in the queues for everything, and protect what they have (in case they rescued something from house, or got necessary things from other people). A friend of mine was almost robbed of shampoo, which cost only 1€ but over there is worth much more. Almost no one have tooth brush or past. People are afraid of each other. This place change people in the very strange way. And they are monitored by police, army, volunteers or people from red cross. That they are over there partly voluntary (they can leave, but they don´t have other place to go), they are watched, they have no privacy, and what they have is a bracelet with the number to be easy to identify.
To be continued…

How I have survived the earthquake in Lorca

2011-05-14T13:01:00.001+02:00

It was something that I would have never expected. It was the day when I came back from my holidays in Poland. I had some difficulties to come back because my plane was delayed, and I couldn’t find any bus or train going to Lorca. Finally I have arrived on 11th of May in the morning and went to work.

I returned back home after over 3 weeks away. The only thing I was able to do was unpack myself, make my laundry, take a shower, and go to sleep. Then it started. I didn’t know what is happening; I have just seen tons of birds flying very fast in one direction. I felt that everything is shaking, my cupboard falling down, but I couldn’t say what it is. I don’t know when I stand up and how long was the earthquake. I just went out of my room looking for my roommate that was at home just before I went to sleep, but she wasn’t there. The doors were bright open. I still wasn’t sure what have happened. There were things on the floor but I wasn’t sure if it was a dream or not.

I went out to the balcony and I saw unusually big amount of people on the streets. A lot of them were crying, a lot of them felt lost and shocked. I had a strong feeling to go on the streets as well, but I wasn’t rational. I found my mobile and money and I felt my home as I was standing – actually as I was sleeping.

I had to sit down. I did it close to my home and I was observing people for a while. It looked nice. Besides some people who cried, I saw very nice atmosphere and the bar close to my home had a very good day. All the people were getting out of this place with coffee or beer. Many people were chatting and they looked happy. I guess I was still in shock, I was alone and I didn’t know what really happened. My neighborhood looked good I thought.

Then my phone started ringing. I don’t know who was the first one checking on me. I talked to some people from my organization and my roommate called to tell me that one more earthquake, the stronger one is coming in 30 minutes. It was the moment that I fully realized what is happening around and I started thinking about my own safety as well as safety of people I know.

To be continue…

Great Expectations - 3

2010-08-28T09:58:00.004+02:00

I want to receive post, but not only the boring one with bills or some documents from bank ect. I want my friends to send me postcards from different places in the world. I want this oldsqool mail. Then I can collect them and place them on my wall in my room, and keep a nice memories from different places and people.

:)

Great expectations 2

2010-08-27T14:04:00.002+02:00

I want to read a book in Spanish. But not any book, one of the books of Zafon. I don't know why I have chosen this one. Most probably I don't know a lot of Spanish writers. And I still haven't finish any book of this writer. Last summer my roomate lent me an Angels Game the last book of him (El juego del ángel, 2008) and I managed to read the first part out of three. I have to say I enjoyed it and I want to finish or read something else, because I was told that book "La sombra del viento" is better.

There are few other reasons/expectations about reading this book. My spanis is really bad, and I have a huge difficulties to read in this language. I am not sure if I will understand a lot, but it will be a right challange. And finally reading is such a nice activity, you can go somewhere to park, or to coffee shop with your book and instead of sittin in front of TV alone in your flat, you can enjoy not only book but environment around you.

Great Expectation - 1

2010-08-26T11:43:00.002+02:00

I want to learn how to cook one dish that will be easy to prepare, fast and everyone will like it. I have seen it pletny of times that many of my firends have something like signature dish (it can be even well done eggs). And it is so enjoyable when someone is inviting you over food and cooking for you and you can fully enjoy!

Because I will be living finally on my own and I really love to have people over I have this great expectation to learn how to make something great and make people happy. ohhh gosh I love to have guessts and I was not really able to have them while being in Poland.

Great expectations about my EVS

2010-08-26T11:37:00.002+02:00

Each person has some certain expectations about almost everything. Even if someone says I don't want to expect anything and "bas bdna neeish" there are always some expectations behind it.

About my EVS I told myself that I don't really wanna know what will happen out there, what exackly I will be doing, where I will live etc. Although I didn't wanna know, I have done some research and I have found some of my roomates on facebook. How crazy this world is and how it changed last 5 years!!! (but this is already globalization we have to get used to).

And me to, I have develop expectations, things I want there to happen, maybe we can call it even goals. And because it is still a process and the new will come, i will open the category for a GREAT EXPECTATIONS, to be able to update them and add new ones.

Nice quotes about life

2010-08-24T15:52:00.002+02:00

I just realized recentrly that I am posting a lot of different quotes on facebook, and I think that in most of them there is a lot of truth. Sometimes we do not realize the simple things and I just wanna remind myself about it via quotes and nice sayings.

So maybe I will be posting some of them here.

"sometimes, in order to open our eyes to the possibilities of today and tomorrow, we have to close our eyes on yesterday ... without any sorrow!"

For one day to africa? YES, to the city of doors...

2010-08-18T21:10:00.003+02:00

Recently when I go somewhere, it happens that it is only for a short amount of time and I always have very intense programme (conferences, stuff to organize etc.). This time I was invited to Tunis for the whole two days (in the very beginning it suppose to be only one). Fortunately for me that time, I have some hours to discover the city of doors.

Besides the characteristic doors everywhere, I really felt in Tunis like in Greece. White building, narrow streets, palms, maybe those things are typical for many other places, but anyway it was my first, very short impression:)

Changes, changes, changes...

2010-08-18T19:48:00.003+02:00

This time the change in my case will be stabilization. What I am looking for is a place where I can find a job and have home, not only a place where I can sleep and from time to time take stuff out of the suitcase. I want to unpack finally. And now I have a chance, at least for 9 months of my stay in Spain.

I still have a month to go, and one very important task to do. I decided that I don't want to come back to my parents place, what I am usually doing. It is time to grown up. Therefore since few days I am cleaning my room, going through all those secret places and mystery stuff I decided to hide as being a teenager. Unfortunately I have to throw away most of it. It is painful, but needed. Hopefully in two weeks my room will become just a guest room and I will start the new adult life.

Is it worth to be good?

2010-03-23T01:12:00.004+01:00

At first, with this post I don't want to recommand anyone to be a bad person. Not at all. It's just recently I have this thoughts if it is good to be always nice, careing, helpful simply althruistic person. Does it pay off?

I really don't like this approach to think about life in the bussines terms. I really didn't want to be nice for people because it will pay off. I wanted to be like this because I believed it is a right bahaviour.

Unfortunately life shows me that I have to be carefull with the althruism. That if I will not fight for something it will not really happen, and if I show people that I am a good person, they will simply use me.

Till not it is kind of right. I was working a lot as a volunteer developing projects. Yes I can say that I gained a bit of experience and fun time bla bla bla. But as a normal person I compare myself to others. They got much more, because of this bussiness rules, because of negotations and deals.

After so many years of my work in differen fields I feel used. I feel that I was giving a lot to the others - my experience, ideas, recommendations, partners, consultations, my time, my energy, my resources, my knowledge. The alternative cost was very high because it was my whole life as a student and all that time. And I see it now it didn't pay off.

It makes me sad when I see people, whom I teach, whom I helped a lot doin right now their own great stuff. I am praud and happy that I was able to help, but it makes me sad that thhey moved forward and I didn't, and I don't have a perspective.

Maybe I am overreacting. Maybe my life would be much worse if I would have been differnet. Maybe I shouldn't complain and see the positive sides (yes there are still many of them).

But is it really possible to be a good person, and not be used because of that, acheive someone, or even the good person must strat playing this trading game...

I want to be brave

2010-01-23T22:22:00.000+01:00

Maybe this will be a big generalization, but I have the feeling that people are not saying what they want, they are afraid to be honest with themselves and other people, they are just hiding a lot of things, if they don’t fit to the general “rules”. Besides there are a lot of “forbidden” topics that they are never talk about. And I have the feeling I am as well like this to some extend.

Few days ago I was talking on skype with a good friend of mine. Something has happened and I felt weird about it, I didn’t plan to share it with anyone, but it happened that we started talking as well about this situation. It helped. We both realized that it is good to talk with other people openly, honestly and without judging.

There are a lot of situation like this, that speaking up really helps. For example:

a) In your friends circle – it is never so perfect that people always feels comfortable with each other. Even your best friend might be hurting you (or u hurting your best friend) without realizing it. How much easier would be solve this in the very beginning then wait and wait and let your problems grow

b) In flirting – how easy it would be to tell someone you like about it instead of playing games of getting each other lasting sometimes few years, or what’s worse doing nothing. It seems so simple to go to someone and say – I like you, maybe we can go out sometimes, but in the reality it isn’t;

c) In the relationship – well I am not a specialist from that but there are very often questions unasked, and usually those questions are not even asked directly, like where is it going, or what do we like, what do we want etc. But I guess one of the most difficult thing is to talk about feelings. You can be with someone and still feel very insecure, you want to say what you feel to this second person and you can’t, you want to hear that the second person feels about you, but you can only guess…

d) In the professional life – in this case there might be a lot of situation that speaking up is useful like getting with the initiative to make a project, applying for the higher position, talking to your boss about salary raise, of even while looking for a job, instead of sending CV just to go to your favorite place and sell yourself. Say what you want, knowing as well what are u capable of.

These is one more category, that I have no idea how to call, maybe just life – there are a lot of topics that people are not talking at all, those you think embarrassing things can become normal. I have this friend of mine, with whom we talked about a lot of different things like typical stuff – guys, relationships, drinking, feelings and a lot of our experiences concerning that stuff. Finally I realized that all those things I thought are not normal aren’t. I started feeling more secure, more comfortable. The problem is that usually people are lying, are pretending and describing themselves as someone totally different. They are creating the untruth image, and thanks to that unrealistic standards of behavior that people wants to follow but are unreachable.

I want to become this honest and brave person, who can independently decide about her life, and not follow the others, not being scared to get what I want, to talk about my feeling, to break the rule of following usually fake social rules. I want to be brave, but I am even hiding this blog. I guess no one is reading it… so this is my honesty for today!

the name of my blog

2010-01-23T12:21:00.002+01:00

I simply dont like the name of my blog. Well the subtitle - memories from the world is still quite ok, but I don't like the address - traveling-aga!!!!!! That is so boring...

I know that noone is reading it, or almost noone. I know that this is mostly for me to catch up with myself, and write few texts to come back to it later. And especially because it is only for me, I want to have it perfect, interesting, cool.

I want to have the name with more metaphorical meaning, I have seen so many cool names, why I cannot get creative and change it?

Globalization – hate it, but cannot live without!

2010-01-19T20:53:00.002+01:00

Normal people has problems with school, work, friends or I don’t know – that the pet is hungry and they have to go back home and feed it. I am not normal – I have a lot of strange thought going on in my head, which I guess are not typical for the “standard” young person. In my head is globalization, but I don’t like this word so much (it’s kind of scary), so I will replace it in this text with something else – maybe “green”!

I am wondering how much green influenced my own, very private life, and how my life would look like without it. Right now I can easly say that I am a global citizen (of course thanks to green). And I don’t think so because of some higher ideas, no! There is a lot of proofs from my daily life, being global citizen it is not a choice or something what I wanted. It just happened! I am waking up in the morning and opening my computer and checking e-mail. There is always a lot of them, because I am “living in a few different time zones”. Then I go to school or to the office, listen to some Arabic music (recently mainly Amr Diab, but as well a bit of Spanish), when I am bored in a bus I text some of my friends (and believe me not those from Poland). My job (what is not really a job, but what I am doing right now) is to contact filmmakers from all around the world and get their movies to my film festival. The second job is to write youth project, of course international one, or help my friends and partners white them, and many other stuff… My school – well I have right now only online classes with “classmates” from Czech Republic, Germany and UK, but originally from Pakistan, Russia, Belarus, Slovakia, South Africa, Croatia and maybe something more.

I realized that there is something wrong with me during new years eve. At first I was trying to follow each hour in which time zone people are celebrating now, secondly I was texting with my friends from four different continents and I guess I was enjoying it more then the party (well I had already a drinking party via skype!)

I have to admit – green conquered my life. There are basically no limitations. The communication via phone became very cheap, especially within Europe, but there is as well skype for free. The transportation is rather cheap as well, you have friends everywhere that they can host u, if not u can find some via different portals. Besides there are still different projects that let you (or sometimes u just have to) go around the world. Culture differences are not a problem anymore, at least not for me, I feel already the same everywhere (and for sure I don’t feel that Poland is my home). I guess there is only one limitation for green – visas (but it’s totally other topic).

Yes, it was nice to travel, make new friends, experience new cultures etc. But it was nice few years ago. Right now my life is design by green and it doesn’t feel comfortable anymore. I don’t know what I really dislike in this. Maybe that I don’t have my place I can call home, maybe saying goodbye permanently or maybe that I simply cannot fit into the environment I suppose to live, into the environment of xenophobic Polish people and really interesting polish boyfriends :)

It bothers me that in this greened world I don’t really have my privacy and everyone knows everything. I have already limited access to my facebook for around 90% of my “friends”. I went through my online profile and deleted most of the stuff I have found about me (if it was possible to delete). But in this greened world somehow it happens that everyone knows everyone, people talk, gossip exchange information about the others. It might happen that you will do something and the next month some friends from the other part of the glob will know about it, through the strange chain of connections. On Monday I have to go to the airport, who knows what will happen… whom I will meet…

Why Barack Obama got a Peace Nobel Prize?

2009-10-09T14:30:00.001+02:00

Thanks to Nobel Committee in the next few days the world will talk about Barack Obama and why he won the Peace Nobel Prize. The official explanation was: “The Norwegian Nobel Committee has decided that the Nobel Peace Prize for 2009 is to be awarded to President Barack Obama for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and co-operation between peoples.”

In the rest of the official announcement we can find same other arguments for Obama like:
- Obama's vision of and work for a world without nuclear weapons
- Obama has as president created a new climate in international politics
- Multilateral diplomacy has regained a central position
- Dialogue and negotiations are preferred as instruments for resolving international conflicts
- The vision of a world free from nuclear arms

So the question that world is asking today is – ok all of this is nice, but is it enough to get the prize? Until I will get to my opinion in this field, I want to open the new topic – how does it happen that Obama got a nomination. There is a very limited group of people who can submit the nomination to Oslo. Only presidents of the countries, parliaments and I guess prime ministers and do it. It mean that only the country authorities can propose someone for nomination. I am so curious which country nominated Barack Obama? For sure it was not United States of America…

Barack Obama is a very good diplomat, and actually even during the elections there was a big hope that he will positively influence the climate of the international community. Right now I have no idea what is he doing with domestic policy, but I appreciate his foreign policy a lot. For me the most important action of Barack Obama was to cancel building elements of the missile defence system in Poland. It shows that he prefers the way of dialogue not armament. As well this action is a very important step in the relation with Russia and Iran, having in mind that those countries were extremely against it.

As well Obama is trying to be a part of the Middle East peace process. He express it during his first days of the presidency, when the first person he officially called was the prime minister of Palestine. Then we have his visits in the Middle East with the famous speech in Cairo. Actually it was not famous in Europe, not at all, but I spent the whole summer in Egypt and I was talking to many strangers of the street, and same friends, different people in general. The topic of Obama’s speech in Cairo was coming back very often, and always with a big hopes.

Let’s be honest. Right now Obama is the most influential person in the only world superpower, what mean in the whole world. And we all know that actions of the US president are important. Looking backward of the last 8 years of the Bush presidency we can see the difference between them, how much the world depends on their actions, words and even small gestures! Obama is taking his chances, is making a small steps in the direction to peace. Yes he is doing nothing special, noting that isn’t part of his everyday “job description”, but he is doing it in a right way – the way of dialogue. So maybe Obama doesn’t deserve this prize, but the world does.

For me this Nobel Prize has to meanings – first it is antiBush prize, that shows the world that we didn’t like the politics of Bush and his administration, and that is example for the world leaders what not to do. Secondly, it is prize for the world and the future. It is almost like with Al Gore and climate change, the prize was awarded to show the world the direction, to appreciate the small things that make a real change, to underline same good practices in the international community that are implemented right now. This is not a prize for Barack Obama, it is a prize for dialogue and mutual understanding as a tool for achieving peace.

Koszmarowa chellange

2009-10-08T22:35:00.002+02:00

Same people may think that studying is difficult, that you have to spend hours in the library, read a lot of book, memorize tons of theory, prepare special project, write thesis etc. My university is a special case. We have one additional challenge and when you complete it everything else seems to be a pace of cake.

I tried to complete this mission today, it was hard but I survived. I woke up few minutes after 6 a.m. it was totally dark outside. I just collect my stuff and run out not to miss my bus. There are only 2 per hour and sometimes are coming to early, sometimes very late, sometimes not at all. But recently I am lucky, it takes me only 30 minutes to get to the city center and from time to time I have even place to sit down.

It’s getting complicated later, when I have to change the bus. At first short walk to the next bus stop and then waiting. There is only one bus going directly to Koszmarowa, and students from five different institutes who wants to get in. You never know when and if it will come…

When you see the bus coming into your direction it means it’s time to get ready. It’s always good to take same cloths off, hide everything in your bag, grab it into your hand, find a good spot and wait. The bus is always full. You cannot be sure that you will get in. It is important to be fast, push people as much as possible, and if you manage to put one fit in the bus, but you are out and doors cannot close because of you, don’t give up, you can always push people more.

It is so good feeling to look outside, see this bunch of people angry that they didn’t get in and knowing that you have a chance to be on time. In this moment nothing bothers you, even the different smells of sweat, and that people are touching you everywhere and pushing, twisting and so one. It is sometimes painful when the bus makes the turn and all the people are falling on each other.
Usually it is consider as a luck be close to doors, because on each stop you have a chance to get same fresh air or feel the cold breeze from outside. But being close to the door means as well that you might be kick out from the bus (for example if someone wants to get out) and never come back again.

Koszmarowa is a last stop. Usually the bas never comes on time because of the traffic and long breaks on each stop. And even after this sacrifice, extremely tired, smelly and in pain you may not get into the class because you came few minutes to late.

btw. KOSZMARowa literally means nightmare :)

What really happened in Agamy?

2009-10-02T04:53:00.003+02:00

Agamy was my neighborhood. It is a place in Egypt, part of the city Alexandria in Egypt, but most of the people count it as something separate, because to get there you have to spend around 45 minutes in the bus, or take a car and use highway. A lot of locals called Agamy the Egyptian Ibiza, because of the specific atmosphere of this place.

Agamy is it not like part of the city. It is typical holiday place, where rich people from Alex and Cairo have their summer houses. It is famous of the beaches as well, although I didn’t enjoy it that much, and clubs. If anyone who is reading this actually was in the European summer spot believe me it is not the same, but for the Egyptian conditions – yes they have places to go out, to buy beer and a lot of people hanging out late at night.

I used to live in the most adventurous/cosmopolitan/fancy place in Agamy – Bianky (Bitash). What surprised me there is that I really couldn’t feel there like in Egypt. I am not sure if I have ever seen veiled women over there (besides cashiers working in Fathalla and nannies of the rich kids), but for sure I have seen a lot of people walking in the swimming suits back homes, kids (for me maximum 14) who where pouring out pepsi on the sand, just to hide still cold Heineken in the same can and drink it next to their parents. I smelled a lot of drugs, especially Thursday and Friday nights walking next to Fathalla (supermarket), I could find there around 50 totally high teenagers. And of course even around 2-3 am I could find kids that I was working with left alone, racing in their beach buggies and who were around 12 years old.
Yes Agamy it was the place in Egypt famous of sex, drugs and alcohol, and not thanks to foreign tourists

In the same time me and three other girls from Europe (The Netherlands and Greece) were living in the nice apartment on the street number one. We had out good and bad moments, we were going to parties, or just hanging out, we were going to swim and of course to work (from time to time), we were dancing in out apartment, cooking and having the morning coffee (at least two of us), we were making new friends, we had own dramas, we were simply trying to have fun and enjoy our summer together.
So after this introduction you might be curious what really happened? What is this post for?

Well, we were there officially on the Aiesec internship (maybe later about it). During our first days we were just told how dangerous is everything, same people (younger then us) tried to make same restrictions, don’t let us go out alone, don’t let us invite people over – especially boys, they were freaking out when they got to know that we took the bus to Alex downtown. But they told us only what we cannot do, they didn’t offer (suggest) anything besides drinking with them. So we had out own, very normal, nice life.

Just before I left one of those people came to a friend of mine who was sometimes part of our life Agamy life, and he announced: “I know what happened this summer in Agamy”. Then I was trying to think what he might be referring to, and I realized I really had interesting summer.

I will discover more details from our Agamy life soon…

Good to be back

2009-10-02T04:17:00.002+02:00

I went out earlier. Someone offered me a ride but I didn't take it. I was going to meet same friends in on of the bars in the city center, but before that I really wanted to enjoy my city, again.

It has been 3 months since the last time I was anonymous, person in the crowd, that no one is looking at (or I would rather say staring at me), that can walk fast or slow, depends on the mood, stop next to each bookstore, have a big smile on the face. And all of this without even suspicious that someone is following, looking or other strange things. And I bought earrings and necklace on the street. Then my mood was even better.

This time I was observing people. Well I am doing it often, but this time I could observe different people. This day I found the first difference between Wroclaw and Alexandria. I realized that here we have more diversity on the street. During the short walk I have seen girl in the amazing dress (red one with flowers) on the bike, few people in suits running somewhere, two very low class guys wearing dresses (fake adidas), people with dreadlocks, blond, brunets, black hair people, people with earrings all over the body, the very old couple holding hands, and a big bunch of typical Poles (especially guys) who simply looks ugly.

And the best was, that during the whole walk through the city center no one talked to me. Even when I was buying my earrings the whole conversation was:
me: how much?
answer: 10 PLN
me: fine (I paid); goodbye

and it was all:)

Once more on my way

2009-06-28T17:17:00.003+02:00

So there are only three more days to go. Till Wednesday I have to make my loundry, pack my suitcase, buy a lot of stuff (I still need a bra, shoes as always, cosmetics, medicines), meet with few people, because ones are leaving and new are coming back. The list is much longer, I bet I will be preparing myself to go in the last seconds before leaving.

1. My next destination - Alexandria, Egypt

This is really an amazing city on the Mediterranean Sea two hours by train from Cairo. I was already in different places in Egypt, but I have to say that Alex is the only place I can live, I mean I can feel comfortable and not feel like a tourist. This is the only place were I can feel comfortable while walking down the street and even people are not attacking me and forcing to buy something.

I simply love to set in the local place, smoke shisha and chat with people around me. I still remember when I was alone in one of those places. And there was manager coming to me, offering me free drinks to taste (same special kind of sweet tea), then someone wanted to play taula, so I took a challange. Unfortunately I was not able to make any move by myself, because there was 10 people advising me what to do.

2. My work over there

So I am not going there for 3 months to lay on the beach and drink beer. Those who knows me a bit will know that I will be bored after two days. I am going there to make so called internship (but it won't be really). This time I will work with kids. With three more girls I will be organizing birthday parties for kids (mostly between 4 and 12 years old). As far as I know I should have fun with them, take care, suggest plays, play with them.
Te best in this work is that I will be all the time outside. The organization has a special center for kids. It is placed in the gardens next to the beach. They do have a lot of fun stuff for kids. It really looks it might be a lot of fun. Although I have never worked with this target group.

3. Living in Alex

I just realized that I am startin each new thought from "so", and I have to change it;) "So" I will be working and living in el Agamy, that is in the south from Alex, the summer place there rich egyptians have their summer houses, there are beaches and bars. I talked with few people and same of them told me it's really nice place, and same of them said it's awful.
I will share flat with 3 other girls - two from the Netherladns and one from Greece. I just have seen them on facebook, and talk with them a bit, but it looks fun, and I guess it might be really cool. I simply love having roomates. I was missing it since last December.
Right now I have to think what to take to decorate my place to feel good over there. My idea was to make home-warming party and ask all my friends to bring one photo with them, which can be after move to my other "homes". I think I will start this in Alex, developing and collecting cool photos on my walls. This might be something stable in my life:D

European elections - chances for a great turnout?

2009-06-07T09:35:00.004+02:00

I shouldn't write this post today, because it is already the voting day in most of the European countries. And it is a common rule that the day before elections nad during the election day it is not allowed to promote any of the candidates. I would like to concentrate on the turnout and the general engagement in the elections then on concrete people, but unfortunately I will have to write down few names.

First, European Elections are always counted as this second category ones. In my textbooks I have found information that only people who had their political careene behind them, and those who don't have enough experience to get to the national parliament are the candidates to EU parliament. It has changed in Poland. I would suggest that the only, or the main reason why the most famous politicians want to get into the EU Parliament is only financial - MEP's are getting much higher salaries and much more money for their offices then the politicians in the country. Therefore today we will see many famous names whila casing a vote.

But I would like to focus rather on the expected turnout. During the last elections in 2004 we had almost the lowest turnout (20,42%), just after Slovakia (16.66%). There were of course countries with tunrout over 80% like Malta (82.37%), Luxemburg (90%) or Belgium (90.81%), where the voting is mandatory, and I want to compare Poland to those countries, but the avarage turnout was 45,5% and unfortunately Poland was very far from this result.

This time the turnout in Poland might be high. Under "high" I understand high for the Polish conditions, it means for sure lower then in the national elections, but not that low as last time. In 2007 in the parliamentary elections we have turnout: 53,88%, in 2005 it was only 40,57%, and in 2001 it was 46,29%. Looking on those numers, taking into the account that the elections to EP are still new and not so many people (especially older generation) doesn't understand that, I would say that the high turnout we can have will be over 35%.

What are the reasons, why I think that this time there will be bigger interests then last time:

1. a lot of famous candidates - this campaing started already very dynamic with the question who will candidate. And from the very beginning all the political parties in Poland were presenting very famous people, even those who are right now having important functions in the country. There was already a lot of discussions about Zbigniew Ziobro, who was in the last goverment very controversial Minister of Justice, but on the lists you will find a lot of people from the current parliament and the local goverment structures.

2. There was no campaign to European Parliament, it was the national campaign - unfortunately the public discussion about Europem and EP was almost not existing. But I still have in my mind the TV spots of conservative party, who was refering to the national elections of 2007, and saying that till not the liberal party haven't done nothing for Poland, and therefore we should vote on conservative one. Acctually almost all spots was about the current situation in Poland, what the current goverment haven't done and how this party will fight for Polish rights in european parliament. I have to say it - was really disgust with all this campaign

3. The 20th universary of polish freedom - on 4th of June we had 20th universary of the first free elections in the whole Central adn Eastern Europe which tool place in Poland. That time in 1989 the society could organize themselves, go to vote, and thanks to them 99% of seats in Senat and 100% of seats (those which were the subject of the elections) went to the opposition. It was only possible becouse of the huge turnout and peoples involvement. And this year during this universary it was the popular slogan, that we got already rights, and right now we have to use those rights. And how the future will look like depends on us, therefore we should go and vote. Maybe when I am writing this, it sounds obvious and silly, but what I have seen that day was really impressive and this message got to a lot of people

4. People's engagement - I doon't know what is the general involvement in the elections. I suppose it is a bit higher then last time, and people knows already a bit more, what MEPs do, and how does it works. I don't see a lot on streets, but two days ago I was really nicely surprised. There was an old lady in the bus with the small leaflets with the candidate's name and list. And she was giving out them to the people in the bus and talking to her. When we got out I had to say few words, simply get to know for whom is she aggitating. Well obviously she was for the conservative party, and it was hard to talk to her, when we get into the topic of values (because it is all about what is more important for you - I was talking about human rights and development aid and she was talking about subsidies for children and families). What I was amazed about, is that she was doing it. I told her that maybe I have different candidate, but appreciate her work, becuase it is what civic society is all about.

Maybe this story with this lady will be described later on, the contend of our conversation etc.

Right now is time to go and vote:)

20 years of freedom

2009-06-04T23:11:00.003+02:00

Exackly 20 years ago there were first free elections in Poland, and in the whole Central and Eastern Europe. 20 years ago we made comunism collapsed. Many people in the world associate end of comunism with the fall of the wall. For me it was the 4th of June 1989. This is a date of the first free elections.

How does it happened? I don't want to go very deep into the history, although it is very interesting. Worth mentioning is that the process of liberalization of the system looked totally different from country to country. Taking the example of hungary this process started after 1956, the similar situation was in Czechoslovakia, where after the Prague Spring in 1968 there was no big crisis. In Poland there were very visible changes in the system in the beginning of 80's, for example the trade unions were legal, as well many other things. In 1980 the Solidarność (trade union) was created. But in December 1981 the home war in Poland started, the goverment attempted to destroy the union and the years of repressions began. This is the main difference between comunism in Poland and other countries (I am not talking about Balkans and countries in Asia).

Then in late 80's there was a huge consolidation and union of people. The very strong movement around Solidarity became once more active. This forced the goverment to start talking with Solidarity-led opposition. The talks tool place on the famous round table, and there was the agreement to organize the first free elections.

Those elections wasn't totally free, in the literature they are called semi-free, but it was already the important step, because for the first time in the history comunists let opposition run to the parliament. The election to the lower chamber (Sejm) were not totally free. During the round table, both sides agreed that 65% of Seats in Sejm will be for Communist Party and its satellite parties. Only 35% of remining seats were a subject of election. For all those seats both communists and the opposition could compete, but there was no competition. Polish society decided that all those 35% of seats will be given to Solidarność. Similar things happened in Senate (higher chamber), where we had totally free elections. 99 out of 100 seats won people from Solidarity. Therefore the first non-communistic goverment in the Central and Eastern Europe was created.

I am really praud of this history. I was watching news all the day. First when the president of my city with few people involved in the elections in 1989 announced that they want to establish the day of 4th of June the Day of Freedom.

In the evening there were plenty of concerts from different cities - Gdansk, where of the shipyard everything happened and Warsaw. Listening to those concert I realized that I know what is my culture. I have always had this problem - what to do during international evenings (during different international events). I was having problem to define in what kind of country I live, what is typical. Right now I have a hint. That are all those bands and songs created in the 80's and beginning of 90's. All of them political, all of them went through cenzorship, all of them amazing and so meaningfull. I love this polish rock with the deep meaning of lirics.

In the end of one concert there was Scorpions playing the song "Wind of change". I am not sure how many people is aware that this song was created in 1990, after what have happened in Poland and the other countries. And this change in the title, it is the end of communism, the new era in our lives, the end of repression, end of cold war, and FREEDOM and PEACE.

Here are the few songs, which are very important for me, and are ery connected with this day.

Wind of Change - the Scorpions

Po co ta wolnosc - KULT

W życiu piękne są tylko chwile - DZEM

Only five months left in Poland

2009-05-20T18:16:00.002+02:00

It looks like that very soon I will be moving once again. Let's call it advanced plans. This is not 100% sure, but I have a big possibility that this plan will be realizes. So how does it look like:

1. May and June - I have to finish with my studies - 6th, 7th and 8th semester has to be done, and first chapter of my master thesis

2. July, August and September - I will be somewhere in the world doing internship. Till now I can say it will be Brussels or somewhere in the Middle East, but I prefere the second option. If I want to work as a youth worker in the international environment, it will look very good in my CV, if I will live there, learn a bit of arabic and work for the whole summer in NGO

3. October, November, December, January - In this four months I have to be done with studies (the last 9th semester is easy) and I have to finish my master thesis. It is hard but realistic... and

4. February - I am leaving for my EVS to Italy! of course this part is not confirmed yet, but we are going to apply for the 1st of June deadline, so it looks like it should be fine.

I am really happy about my plan. For a long time I was waiting for something to happen. I stopped being afraid what to do with my life. I feel so secure. I feel that no matter what, I will be happy and once again I want to take a risk.

Just I have to remember to finish studies as soon as possible.

How to teach development education?

2009-05-10T11:41:00.002+02:00

One of my biggest dilemma is how to teach development education, when I am not able to give any solution. Is really raising awareness enough? Should we make propaganda?

All those questions appeared in my head on one training, when we had guest speaker talking about global problems. It looked a bit like this, that she used all the shocking data, added same pictures and put it all on her 1,5h speach.

The outcome was amazing, all the participants were very happy to see that, were very happy that finally we are talking about concrates, but what next? After this presentation I talked to her a bit. We entered the topic of the economic development, and the role of people and politicians in the development. And this was this kind of person who was critisizing - Millennium Development Goals as not realistic, J. Sachs for everything (including transformation in Eastern Europe and South America).

I started wondering - what are we doing. How we can be honest while teaching development education, if we as activist are only critisizing. And is there the solution?

____________________________
I have writen once paper which reflect about the conflict between to development economists - Sachs and Esterly

Searchers versus Planners, Easterly versus Sachs

Is there a solution to solving global problems? What can we do to combat extreme poverty? Is it our responsibility to do something? The question is not only how to help “Africa”, but also a question how to help the developing world; it is an important point on the agenda of politicians, scientists, and many activists. There are a lot of people who are concerned about this topic and there is no one answer as to what should be done.
In my paper I will focus on the work of two economists, Jeffrey Sachs who is an American economist and Director of the Earth Institute at Columbia University and William Easterly, as well as economist, specializing in economic growth and foreign aid. Both of them started the argument on how should we go about ending poverty. Easterly criticizes the Sachs’ theory in his book “End of poverty” and his work in general, in his response book “The White Man’s Burden”, where he has presented the theory of planners and searchers. But looking closer at the work of those two we can find many similar approaches, and a lot of the Easterly’s criticisms are not necessary.
Sachs’ main idea is that investments in Africa were weak and not sufficient and because of that development couldn’t occur. He claimed that by increasing foreign aid and changing the way of its redistribution it is possible to fight extreme poverty. Easterly says that the international community has already put a lot of money into Africa’s development ($2.3 trillion) and there are no visible results, so he is against to the idea of continuing the work in the some way and suggests that developing countries should free their markets . Easterly writes: “(…) the most obvious thing the West could do to transform the Rest was to introduce free markets”. Similarly, it is important to note here that Sachs is as well a big supporter of free markets. He is the architect of the Polish transformation into the market economy, but he argues to enter the global markets countries need to be prepared for that. He says “Free-market forces are vital. But they are limited when you have people so poor that they are essentially isolated from markets. People that don't even grow enough food to bring to market, don't have electricity or access to roads, clinics, or schools, find themselves isolated from the world economy”. Both of these economists are in favour of free markets, with a small difference in their ideology in which Sachs claims that at first developing countries need to get prepared how to compete. The most questionable argument is how the agricultural products which developing countries most likely would produce can compete with EU markets that have very high supplies and protection. Already in the shops in Morocco we can find only Spanish chicken, because it is cheaper to import it from EU than to self produce it. It is reasonable to create regional free trade areas where countries with the same status of development can compete with each other, but the idea of implementing free markets without the previous preparation for this is questionable.
Easterly mainly criticizes Sachs in terms of his idea being focused on only money. He writes, “it’s all about the money (…) It’s just, you know, spend more money and that will solve the problem”. This is actually not true. Yes, Jeffrey Sachs believes that money is important in order to let countries develop, but as well he focuses on the solutions. The best example is his Millennium Villages Project. This project provides the full support for villages including “interventions in food production, nutrition, education, health services, roads, energy, communications, water, sanitation, enterprise diversification and environmental management” . All the investments were consulted with the local communities, and they were involved in the decision making process. There was no one simple solution for all the villages. At first the needs were recognized, based on specific situation, climate, local problems, and then the necessary help was provided. It is actually what Easterly is suggesting, bottom-up work together with local people. In his book he underlines a lot of times that it is better to provide the bed-nets, what is an example for bottom-up work, rather than starting the huge projects. A part of the Millennium Villages Project is to provide vitamin and mineral supplements, access to anti-retroviral medicines, insecticide-treated bed nets, improved access to water and fuel wood. He wants to help people with their problems to let them focus on more important things like where to get clean water. He helps kids like Amaretch from Ethiopia mentioned in Easterly book. Projects like Millennium Villages would help her to go to school instead of bringing the wood and selling it in for the whole day on the market.
What is important and what Easterly doesn’t recognize is that all the problems of developing world are interconnected and only the complex treatment can help overcome it. Let’s take the example of Amaretch. Let say her father will get a job, and the amount of money she earns by collecting and selling wood. Would it solve a problem? Would she be able to go to school? The answer to these questions is most probably not, because she wouldn’t have books. If she would have books, most probably she wouldn’t perform well enough at school, because of lack of energy. Most likely she wouldn’t get proper food to get enough energy. Also, the other questions that may arise are; what about the health? What would happen if she gets sick? What Amaretch needs is not only the possibility to go to school, she needs access to sanitation, health care, nutrition, communication to be able to get to school. Therefore I think that the complex solutions provided by Millennium Villages Project are worth consideration.
But somehow the ideas of Sachs and Easterly are very similar. Both of them are in favour of market economy, both of them are giving the same solutions for the problems. Let’s take their approaches. In one article we can read, “According to Sachs, donors should invest in specific inputs, allowing for "practical solutions to practical problems" related to the issues of poor health, rural isolation, lack of energy resources and crop production vulnerability in rural villages. ” Isn’t it exactly what Easterly is presenting? This is definitely not a top-down approach, where the West tells what the Rest has to do; nobody is building the big programs, which are very complicated which have no sense. Both of the economists knows where to start and it the bottom-up work with locals is; helping them to survive and improve their life quality.
Both of the economists have the similar approach to the idea of micro-credits, that they might be useful. Although Easterly is not a huge fan of them, he recognizes that they are useful. “Microcredit didn’t solve everything; it just solved one particular problem under one particular set of circumstances” . Similarly Sachs suggests that micro-financing might be one of the good tools, but not the sufficient one. Sachs says: "Microfinance is one of the institutions that can play a really nice role, along side health and agriculture [initiatives], once we get the basic infrastructure [in place]. "
Besides the similarities, Easterly points out one very important thing, why despite big funding given to the developing countries there is still a big problem with for example malaria: “Gordon Brown was silent about the other tragedy of the world’s poor. This is the tragedy in which the West spent $2.3 trillion on foreign aid over the last five decades and still had not managed to get twelve-cent medicines to children to prevent half of all malaria deaths. The West spent $2.3 trillion and still had not managed to get four-dollar bed nets to poor families”. But medicines and bed-nets are not the only expenses. There is still a control campaign going on. The blood tests can easily diagnose malaria when it is not too late, and taking into the consideration the big amount of cases per year (300-500 million cases ) it costs a lot.
This leads us to the Easterly’s main concern about the foreign aid – high costs of bureaucracy. He says “Tanzania produces more then 2,400 reports for its aid donors” and “I myself wasted government officials’ time on five continents during my bureaucratic career. Foreign aid did not supply something the poor wanted (roads), while it did supply a lot of something the poor probably had little use for (me and my fellow bureaucrats)” . That is what everybody agrees on – administration is expensive. It would be much better if that money will be spent on direct help. My question is whether it is possible. Easterly is criticizing the methods how administration works. But he is just criticizing. Sachs claims as well that the structure of aid funds should be changed. He thinks as well that the current aid was too small and badly administrated.
Both of the economists have the some solutions. I have already presented Sachs’s Millennium Villages. Easterly presents something very similar: “get the poorest people in the world such obvious goods as the vaccinations, the antibiotics, the food supplements, the improved seeds, the fertilizer, the roads, the boreholes, the water pipes, the text books, and the nurses” . They have just different tools. Easterly pays attention on criticizing the administration, and UN in general. He criticizes Millennium Development Goals. He claims that he wants to see results, not just intentions, but he doesn’t take any action. He obviously doesn’t agree with any top-down actions, but what he doesn’t realize is that only behind this top-down actions there are money. He is presenting solutions but without the follow up, without information where the money should come from.
Jeffrey Sachs works for the UN, invites a lot of celebrities to support his work, together with Bono he raised awareness about global poverty and he became a celebrity as well, what is that he is also criticized for. But there is one thing what he makes and Easterly doesn’t, he succeeds in fundraising. Because he invests in visibility, he educates about the importance of eradicating poverty and he says he knows how to do it, and he proves how to do it. Therefore, countries and private donors are more likely to support his mission. He makes many of the governments promise to fulfil their commitments to pay 0,7% of their GDP for development aid.
Although I don’t think that the argument which is going on between Easterly and Sachs is not necessary, Easterly points out some crucial problems, and direct the attention of international community on things which are not working well (although they are not working that bad as Easterly presents it). From the other side it is good that international community has someone like Jeffrey Sachs, who really works to “make poverty history”.

References:
Easterly, William “The White Man’s Burden” (2006),
http://www.oecdobserver.org/news/fullstory.php/aid/1251/False_economies:_A_global_health_crisis.html
http://www.uncdf.org/english/microfinance/pubs/newsletter/pages/2005_04/news_sachs.php
http://www.uncdf.org/english/microfinance/pubs/newsletter/pages/2005_04/news_sachs.php
http://www.unmillenniumproject.org/mv/mv_faq.htm
“Jeffrey Sachs on Beating Global Poverty”, U.S.News, April 11, 2008 http://www.usnews.com/articles/business/economy/2008/04/11/jeffery-sachs-on-beating-global-poverty.html
http://www.bigthink.com/business-economics/646/responses/all/by-popular/1

Problems with internship

2009-03-28T15:21:00.002+01:00

It is already more then month, since I have started looking for the internship. And my first impression is that I don't like this system. There are of course people who seems to be professional and are answering e-mails quite often and are able to provide the information. Unfortunately there are more problems, and the whole system is rather not working.

1. The biggest problems - acceptance notes

Acceptance note - it is kind of declaration, that if you will be choosen, you will for sure come to this place. I know it is needed, but I think it is overused. When you write to someone, you are immediately asked for AN (acceptance note). First, I thought, it means they like me and it is serious. NOT AT ALL!!! It looks like that everyone is asked for the acceptance note, and then after 10 days (becuase they have to answer you within 10 days) you get to know that the selection process didn't even started.

The rule is that after sending one acceptance note, you cannot send another one for 10 days. It means as well that you cannot look for the internship during this time, because all other people ask you for the acceptance note.

2. MY experience with project in Jordan
project: TN-In-JO-AM-2009-1012

It was very interesting project. I wrote to them and they said, everyting is fine, send us AN. So I ahve done it and I was waiting 10 days. After this time, I got to know they they still didn't started interviewing candidates, and they have more then 20 of them. After another week I got to know that there was a holiday, so still there was no interviews. Next week the main coordinator was on the training abroad and could't give me any details. It was already this time when the coordinator was suggesting me looking for something different. I was doing it, but as well keeping eye on the internship in Jordan. And the last week I got to know that there are problems with the company and maybe this project won't happen at all.

Right now I have checked, and the project status is on hold

3. My adventure with Mexico

I have found amazing place, and I decided that I can wait 2-3 weeks until they will finish recruitment process. To do that I had to withdraw my interests in the internship in Indonesia, where I was already accepted.
But I have found the coordinator online, and we were talking a lot, everything looked good, and I had big chances. The deadline for application was 25th, before that date I was informed that maybe the results will be even earlier. It was the last info I got. It is almost two weeks since I was in touch with people from this organization. Last week I was writing to them everyday. The coordinator was not online at all (on msn or skype).

Today I have checked the status of those internships and it is once more on-hold.

4. Egypt is the same

I don't understand the situation with Egypt either. I had very interesting internship, where they didn't have a lot of condidates. Even the girl I was taling to was very happy they I appeared. The last e-mail from her was that she will organize interview as soon as possible. Since then I didn't get any e-mail from her. Some time later I wrote once more and sked what happened, but there was no respond either.

Right now I am not sure what I supposed to do. I am not afraid that I might go to place where I can not depend on people. I used to manage by myself, and this time it will be the same, but I want to go somewhere, and it is already anoying that nothing the people are not responsible.

development of internship looking process

2009-03-12T16:42:00.002+01:00

Last few days I had a huge dilemma - I coulnd't decided what to do. There was this TN manager from Indonesia pushing me to give him an answer, but there was also another places I wanted to give a chance.

How the situation with Indinesia looks like - so there are two projects, both cool, both interesting (help with teaching English) and I always wanted to go there. But there was something wrong. All the time I was thinking that maybe it is not a good idea, although I was convinced from all sides that I should go there.

Yesterday I made decission. There is this proverb - better bird in hand, then pigeon on the roof, what means better are things which you have, then maybe more atractive but far away. So there was nothing wrong with Indonesia - I just didn't have this strong feeling that I really should go there.

But today I did manage to catch a coordinator from Mexico, where they do have amazing internships in Ethos Foundation - NGO dealing with different social issues! This was something perfect for me, things I was doing since I remember, things I loved to do. And it was a second that I had this very strong feeling - yes that's this place (especially that maybe finally I would improve my spanish). I had a problem with this intenrship, because I was not sure if the dates I am available are fine for thie employee, if they do have a lot of candidates and so one. But today after the short chat with the coordinator I know I should give a chance to this project. Maybe they do have same candidates (and most probably in 2 weeks they will have more), but I know that I would be a perfect match, I have enough skills, I can apply for more then one intern... and I have to wait only till 25th of March!

So where I am now...

I decided that I will cancel all these places where they want my decission right now. I will apply for this 2 additional project in Mexican foundation to improve my chances. Still I am in the application process in Jordan, where I was informed it will take ages to decide. Moreover I have contacts to other MEDA countries, where I can even go for development internship (don't get salary, only accommodation, but have much cheaper travel), and looking on my performance till now I am sure that if those places won't work for me as I wish, I can easly find nice DT somewhere closer to home and as well fine. But if I won't give a chance to those all better project I know I will regreat.

Looking for an internship with AIESEC

2009-03-01T14:26:00.002+01:00

The decision is made – I want to go somewhere for the summer, somewhere outside Poland. And this is everything what I know. Recently I applied for an AIESEC internship. I have already the number and I am in the database. Looks like I will end up somewhere with this organization for summer. Therefore I decided to write this post about finding internship (before any decision), because it might be a nice memory, reading this in the end of the summer and reminding myself how it happened…

I am so curious myself where I will finally end up. I have so many ideas. But let’s make describe it chronologically.

1. Deciding where to go
So right now I have the whole world and I have to choice where to go… Actually the first conception was not that difficult. I said Middle East. There are few advantages of this choice – I have already been there and liked it, it is relatively cheap to get there (what is the most important for me), there is warm, I have already same friends.
In the mean time I thought let’s go to Balkans! I want it cheap, and Balkans are the most exotic from the whole Europe, and the cheapest, and I haven’t beet there for a long time.
For a second I thought as well that I should go somewhere really far, exotic, maybe Latin America, maybe South East Asia, somewhere, but then I said to myself that I should be realistic. That I don’t want once more go somewhere far and adjust to the culture and make friends and then leave. And Middle East is different, still kind of exotic, worth discovering and close enough.

2. First actions
To be able to search the database you have to be enroll in the internal AIESEC system. It takes a lot of time and I am very impatient person when I want to achieve something. So smart Aga decided do something by herself, without being in the system (yet). So there was a lot of discussion groups, facebook, and other sources where I have found e-mails to people in charge in different countries. From Middle East they have projects in Morocco, Tunisia, Egypt and Jordan. Unfortunately there is no in Syria and Lebanon, and Lebanon would be cool:)
So I have sent e-mails to all those people and I got the responds very fast!!! I was shocked that everything is happening so fast. I was in touch with girl from Jordan who offer me amazing internship in company implementing clean development mechanism – yes about this I was making research for my conference in Chicago! I got as well very good offer from Alex in Egypt – in the NGO, working on issues I am real specialist – NGO management:) I loved this offer, but the problem was that they are offering only flat, and I have no idea how I will survive, because I have no job right now and I am not able to earn anything till summer.
I got as well same offers from Morocco and Tunisia, but as well DT internships, what means that they are not paid, I am getting only apartment and food. So they asked me for the acceptance note from Jordan, and because it was first paid offer I got I have sent them one.

3. And what now…
Finally I am in the database. I am waiting for the feedback from Jordan and in the meanwhile I decided to look for something else. I search the database, but not selecting any particular country. As a criteria I put development studies, NGOs, PR and marketing and so one. This way I have found few amazing, and once more amazing projects. I have sent them questions and I am in touch with internship managers.
Right now I have to wait until I will get confirmation from Jordan, and then decided what to do next. And I have still so many amazing ideas:
• Indonesia – teaching English in primary school, preparing intercultural workshops (I am a trainer experienced with children) and they are offering 700$ + apartment! So the deal is great;
• Mexico – as well amazing foundation making research on poverty in Latin America countries, I like the project a lot and that is what I want to do, and it is DT but they are paying 700$, but to get to Mexico I have to pay too much – 5000PLN (where to Middle East I will pay max 2000PLN);
• Tunisia – Ii was found by this company, project looks great it is MT – promotion and marketing so standard
• China – amazing, amazing project for big amount of interns, teaching English and making intercultural activities for youth! And it is relatively cheap to get to China
• Malaysia – I don’t remember what did they offer but I remember I liked it:)
• Thailand – ones more project about education about other cultures, I have found it and loved it from the first second, but they still didn’t answer me
• Australia – yes even there is an interesting project. I have written to them, but still no answer, and project is about working with students, informing them about different job and scholarships possibilities and organizing different events, so as well perfect for me but as well travel will be very expensive.

So I don’t know what will happen now. I don’t know what to do. Decide to go to Middle East or maybe choice something else from the list. Everything looks so interesting.

Walls graffiti in Manila

2009-02-23T19:15:00.005+01:00

Photos come from May 2007. I have done it in Manila, Philippines, next to the city center in the university district.

I have found the wall paintings amazing, beautiful, inspiring and just worth seeing. This kind of art I like to find when I am traveling.

My life at Hendrix - slide show

2009-02-22T15:24:00.005+01:00

Yes, once I was bored. Or maybe I was inspired y one guy who done amazing slideshow, and I decided to do one for myself.

So how my life at Hendrix College looked like:

Jiji – the heaven on earth

2009-02-21T15:05:00.010+01:00

There are not so many places in the world where I love to come back as much as to JIJI.

Jiji it is a small bar, but without alcohol next to Bibliotheca Alexandria, in Alexandria in Egypt. It is a place where I spent most of my time during my first stay in Egypt. It was in October 2006 during Ramadan. I remember going to Jiji just after Iftar and leaving just after the sunrise. And when I came back to Alex in July 2008, it was one of the first places I went. This place changed a lot during this time, but I love it still.

Old Jiji - view from the sea side

Old Jiji - view from outside

Old Jiji - inside

Why it is so special? I have no idea. I liked this place more before it was renovated. The old chairs, tables, and the roof out of straw umbrellas. There was no windows, just the smell of water. And the best was that you could go down to the water, it was dirty but lovely especially during sunrises.

Last year when I was there, everything was already new, at first I was very disappointed and finally I was avoiding the new part “building with windows”, but there was still the outside part, still lovely, still with amazing views and the smell of water.

New jiji

Because I could sit there for a very long time, and even make same friends in this place :) with my friend we decided to work in this place. Why not? Isn’t it an amazing idea? Because I am so fluent in Arabic – I can order shisha, mango juice, banana juice and of course coffee without sugar, with small help of my friend I convinced the waiter that I do speak Arabic. And it was going quite well (applying for a job) until the guy realized that we are very serious. He was quite confused when we wanted to talk with manager. And here the problems started. We were offering our help, flexible hours (we were flexible), with experience (having own shishas at home and preparing it for all our friends), and even we didn’t expect the salary, we said that tips and t-shirt would be enough, but what we got to know from manager was that they don’t hire woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was very sad about this. Lovely place but with weird policy.

4 months of holidays at Hendrix

2009-02-15T19:12:00.004+01:00

Once, it was during finals, I was standing and chatting with my friend in front of the cafeteria. We were joined by one guy who asked me, how did I like Hendrix College. I remember I said that it was amazing, I liked it a lot and I have never had 4 months of such a great HOLIDAYS. I have seen big disappointment on his face. After, my friend told me that this guy works in admission office and is in charge of international students, so most probably he was the person who gave me a change to study at Hendrix.

I still do think that my stay at Hendrix was the best and the longest holidays I have ever had, but I want to explain why.

Since I remember I was working and studying and doing tons of things in the same time. Then I went to Hendrix to spend my semester abroad there. I end up in a very small town in Arkansas, on the beautiful campus, with sunny weather, where people were enjoying their lives. I didn’t have to work (even I couldn’t because of my visa status), I didn’t have to worry about such a things like cooking, cleaning, traffic jams, permanent ringing phone which I was afraid to answer, deadlines, budgets, invoices and many more.

At Hendrix I had just my studies. I have chosen four classes I really loved: Introduction to Film Studies, American Parties and Elections, Model UN and Conflict Management and Resolution. I had homework (it is hard to say if it was a lot or not), but this kind of homework it is a pure pleasure. We had to read a lot. And what is more relaxing then sitting in the shadow in the sunny day and read good book. Maybe in the beginning I was a bit frustrated, because I have found few mistakes in one book (so I have written to the publisher), but when I got such a book as “The Prince of the Marshes” by Rory Stewart, I couldn’t stop reading.

I had papers to write as well, but most of the time I had a feeling that I can express myself. Mostly I was walking around with the topic in my head and analyzing what I want to write, what I think in this topic, what is important to me. Then I was making additional research and finally writing. I was writing in the library, which was the social place, you could always find friends there who wants to have a break with you.

I still think that I had the best holidays in my life. And it is not because I was doing nothing, I was doing a lot, but I was doing things that I like a lot. I am happy because finally I have learnt what studying really means! And the life on the campus it was like the summer camp, a lot of people living together, eating together, partying together, studying together, and the biggest worry was how to dress up for Haloween.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly – movie about finding butterflies

2009-02-12T17:52:00.000+01:00

Even a person who is imprisoned in the diving bell, can get out and fly away like a butterfly. Each person can get out from the worst situations; each person is able to overcome all kinds of limitations. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (Julian Schnabel, 2007) it is a beautiful movie about life. It shows the strength of each human being, how impossible might become possible, how people can change and find the energy and motivation to fight, to achieve something. This movie is very touching, showing us the tragedy of men, life and death, letting viewers reflect on their own lives, but most importantly it brings a lot of hope.

It is a movie about finding butterflies. The main character Jean-Dominique Bauby (Mathieu Amalric) has a very rare disease – lock-in syndrome. He is totally palsied, he cannot move, cannot eat, cannot speak; besides his brain there is only one eye which works. He is like in the diving bell: closed, unable to move, torpid and powerless. But he is as well like the larva, which is imprisoned in the cocoon and through metamorphosis transforms into something beautiful – the butterfly. Like the larva can become a butterfly, people can fight their cocoons and find their butterflies – find happiness, passion and the meaning of life.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly shows us the story about Jean-Do, chief redactor of ELLE, father of three children, and a successful person. We get to know him when he wakes up in the hospital. We see everything very fuzzily - doctors coming and leaving, green walls of the room he stays, flowers someone brought for him. We see the world with his eye. One of the most famous Polish cinematographer Janusz Kamiński, the director of cinematography in this movie, created very authentic images of the world seen with eyes of a paralyzed person, who doesn’t have contact with the world. He uses shallow focus and racking focus or going out of focus to show how weak is his eyesight. Because of that we can not see very clearly what happen on the screen, sometimes we have problems seeing clearly the face of someone or even reading the name tag of the doctor who examine Jean-Do. We have also the problem, to see all the people who are in the room. Camera is static like the patient’s body, no moves are possible. Because of that, the space we are able to see is very limited, especially when the objects are close to the camera. The use of the counted low angle changes the perception as well. This is how Jean-Do has seen the world from his hospital bed. People were not clear, he saw only part of his faces or even only the chest of the doctor or breast of the nurse, and he didn’t have control of anything.

Through the cinematography in this movie we can fully understand Jean-Do’s feelings; as viewers we want to have control on this what is happening, understand it, know more than the character, but it is impossible. We discover what happened together with him. The edition doesn’t help us as well. There is lack of establishing shots; we don’t even know what our hero, in whose body we are now, looks like. He doesn’t know either. We discover it together, step by step. Firstly, when he for the first time tries his wheelchair, he sees himself for a second in the window reflection, secondly when he tries to exercise him mouth and tongue, he sees this part of him body in the mirror. We cannot see his face because he cannot either.

What we can do is we can feel the same pain and fear as he feels. Especially in the scene when Jean-Do is learning that his eye is already dry and doctors wants to sew it up. He speaks but nobody can hear it. Then we just see the big needle which moves around the screen, and the eyelid which become closed forever. Even more expressive is the scene when Jean-Do cries. The picture becomes less and less sharp, the camera looses the focus, and we can really see the tears on the screen.

Although during the first 35 minutes of the movie we can just see the tragedy, pain, fear, and loss of humanity, it is not what the movie is about. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly shows us three different worlds: the world seen with the eye of Jean-Do, the world where Jean-Do lives and is part of, and the world of his memories and imagination. Our main character changes himself and even through he is paralyzed he finds his own world. He realized that “memory and imagination let him get out of his diving bell”. He creates his own world, in which he finally can feel happy. Even the flashbacks are not realistic, are improved, colorized, more beautiful. Like, his memories from the day of the accident, when he is driving through Paris. Everything looks like fairytale. Camera shows the pictures from Paris once from extremely high angle, then tracks on extremely low angle, in the mean time camera moves in all possible way – pan, tilt, shows Paris in the various of counted angles. In the background we can hear the title track from The 400 Blows (Francois Truffaut, 1959). Everything looks beautiful, magical and happy like his whole life should look like.

Jean-Do’s imagination shows us the authentic man’s desire. He dreams about all of those things he really wants and he cannot have. When the doctor comes and gives him a drip, which replaces food, he closes his eye and moves to the restaurant, where he sits in his pajama in front of the table full of extraordinary food. He sees also Claude (Anne Consigny), who flirts with him. He invites her to the table, feeds her, they start kissing. It shows how much he need passion, closeness, and other people like every other human being. He dreams very often about freedom – he sits on his wheelchair on the small podium on the sea. His face is turned into the direction of the horizon. Other times he just imagines nature – forests, grass-lands, ice-bergs, he dreams about himself skiing on the hill-side, on which nobody was skiing before. The nature in this case expresses freedom, which was taken from Jean-Do and never would be given back. Finally he remembers his family – his father of whom he used to take care; a person who is very close to his heart.

Through his dreams we can learn that he is still a normal person, that his brain is functioning like the brain of anybody else, that he has the same needs and desires like all of us. Through he is handicapped he is still a normal person who can love, care, have dreams. But it was not like that from the very beginning. It cost Jean-Do a lot of effort and internal strength to achieve it. He had to make one of the most important steps – accepting his situation and finding the will to live. We can see this acceptance, when the camera for the first time gets out from his head, from his perspective, and we can see paralyzed Jean-Do as he really is, on the wheelchair, with sewed up eye and deformed face. We are able to see it, because he is able to do it.

One more example of how strong he was is the process of learning the new way of communication. Through this he frees his butterfly. Firstly when the new language is introduced to him, he doesn't want to cooperate. His first words are “I want to die”. But with the time he realized that he has something to live for and he can learn how to get out from his cocoon. He realized that communication with other people is what he really needs. It would make him not feel lonely.

Jean-Do is somehow like a foreigner in a country, where he didn’t speak the language. What he needs the most is a way of communication. It can be done without words. All that is needed is a message created in a head of one person, which is codified, then transmitted to the second person and decodified, which means understood. Foreigners probably would use the body language and hands to transmit their message. Jean-Do used his eye. Together with logopediste Henriette (Marie-Josée Croze) they create the unique way of communication – one person reads the alphabet, where characters are classified to their use frequency, and Jean-Do blink each time when the letter he needs is pronounced. From that letters he builds words, from words sentences. This lets him communicate with others, talk on phone with those who are not able to visit him, and this let him even write a book.
In The Diving Bell and the Butterfly cinematography, edition and sound express how Jean-Do's delivers his message. The camera replaces the eye and ear, registers the pictures and sounds, and copies Jean-Do’s impression, cutted, deformated, shaking. Sometimes we can hear voices but don’t see the person; sometimes we don’t hear anything; sometimes we can hear the enjoyable sound of TV when the program ended. Everything exactly like Jean-Do might feel. Cinematography shows his thoughts, everything that is in his head and nobody else has access to; like our thoughts and dreams we never share with others. Edition is the code with which he transmits his message. We can notice that every cut is one blink. When he blinks for less the one second appears the brown-purple screen, what gives us impression that we see his closed eye. As Jean-Do, we were introduced to this code and without any further help we can encode the message and understand it. We have learnt this language together with our character.

This movie shows how communication is important; it proves that there are so many ways to express ourselves. We can communicate not only via language, via speaking, but as well via artistic expression. It can be music, it can be painting, it can be a book, and it can be a movie. Jean-Do wrote a book, which lets us understand his emotions and his situation. Based on the book the movie was created. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly is a brilliant example of the way of communication. Firstly through this fill still Jean-Do is sending us a message, secondly director Julian Schnabel, as well as his cinematographer Janusz Kamiński, editor Juliette Welfling, and the rest of film authors tell us how amazing a tool of communication film could be, and how many things they can express through film.

Film it is not the simple story presented step by step, which shows us only what happened. In each movie we can find plenty of meaning, emotions, reflections, but in the same way as the language, we have to learn how to understand the movie. Let’s look for example on nondiegetic inserts, which shows diving bell deep in the water. Those are parts which let viewers reflect, think about the meaning, or even try to understand the characters’ emotions. When we see the diving bell, it might make us feel like Jean-Do, it helps us understand the lock-in syndrome, and imagine how difficult the situation is. The same with the nondiegetic insert with the ice-berg. As viewers we can see the scene where the ice-berg falls apart. But linking it with the whole movie and the place in the movie when this scene is presented, we can understand it. This scene is placed just before Jean-Do accepts himself, decides to write a book and uses the rest of the life as much as he can. The collapse of the iceberg symbolizes something important: change and freedom.

This scene might have one more meaning. Even if something falls apart, and it looks like it is impossible to fix, it is never too late. Like ice-berg which firstly collapsed, but in the last scene we can see how everything moves back, become normal, how it was before. Like Jean-Do, who after the accident, lost his all hope. But he realized in the end that through what happened his life became meaningful, he got closer to his family, he discovered what is important in life, and he left behind him something lasting – the book.

This movie is so special, because brings hope and a lot of positive feelings. Although says about person who goes through tragedy, is very positive and in many moments even amusing. As it is shown in the opening scene, through the series of the roentgen photos, we live very close to the things about which we never think about. We would never think about our bones, until something starts hurt. Maybe The Diving Bell and the Butterfly suggest us right now to look around, think what we have, and start enjoying it…

Can Islam be a cause of terrorism?

2009-02-10T19:33:00.002+01:00

This post contain one of my papers I have writen during my studies in US. I am still ashamed of my writing, but I hope this paper is not that bad.

Can Islam be a cause of terrorism?

In war it is essential to know the opponent, to understand the strategy he uses and his motivation. The global situation, which we have right now, might be called war as well – for example “war on terror” which the United States leads against Islamic terrorism, or “holy war” – the term which is often used as a synonym for jihad. In order to understand the problem we need to analyze what kind of role Islam plays in modern terrorism, what is the definition of jihad, and what is the perception of this term in the eyes of Muslims. In this paper I will analyze whather we are allowed to talk about Islamic terrorism, if Islam and Islamic law are legitimate uses of power, if we can say that Islam is the reason of terrorism or if there are same others.
First, to analyze the connection between Islam and its’ role in terrorism we have to understand the term “jihad”. The word itself comes from Arabic and means “the struggle” or “striving” (in the way of God). Usually people translate word “jihad” as a “holy war” and based on this they make assumptions that Islam is the religion of violence. They very often associate jihad with fanaticism, cruelty, and intolerance. In fact, jihad is about being closer to God. It requires Muslims to strengthen the belief through moral, physical and intellectual.
According to the Muslim doctrine there are four ways of implementing jihad: by heart, by language, by hand, and in the end by sword. Jihad of the heart is spiritual and moral. For example, it might be by fighting with the one’s desires. There are the personal actions which lad to eliminate evil from life and improvement as a person. Jihad of the language it is simply promoting religion and the main ideas by talking about them and through giving the good example to nonbelievers. In jihad of the hand the main aim is to improve the Muslim community and combat injustice; it might be done even by making a good business. The most popular example of jihad by hand is zakat – one of the five pillars of Islam. Zakat is the obligation for all Muslims to give some percentage of their annual income to charity, those money are distributed among the poor. Finally there is jihad of the sword. This gets a bit more complicated, and here we can try to find out if Islam is really calling for holy war or not. In the Quran it is not clear. There are suras that are calling for the war against non-believers which legitimate the use of power, such as sura 9, verse 5: “But when the forbidden months are past, then fight and slay the Pagans wherever ye find them, and seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem (of war); but if they repent, and establish regular prayers and practice regular charity, then open the way for them: for Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.” But in other suras we can learn that war and the use of military or any other form of aggression is legitimized only if the war is the defensive war, like Sura 2, verse 190: “Fight in the cause of Allah those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for Allah loveth not transgressors”.
This is a really big problem because it gives the possibility for plenty of interpretations. There are the liberal concepts which call to interpretate the Quran as a whole (not just a single sura which might lead to misunderstanding) and do not use violence. They are rather following the idea (as well from the Quran) that killing an innocent man is like killing the whole population: “We ordained for the Children of Israel that if any one slew a person - unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land - it would be as if he slew the whole people” [5:32]. But there are as well the fundamental interpretations which claim that peace might be achieved only after the full victory of Islam in the world, and they are taking this to legitimize terrorism. Most of those fundamentalists are using sura 9, verse 29 to explain their actions: “Fight those who believe not in Allah nor the Last Day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger, nor acknowledge the religion of Truth, (even if they are) of the People of the Book, until they pay the Jizya with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued.”
As we can see in the Quran there is no unequivocal answer if jihad allows Muslims to fight against nonbelievers and even encourage them to fight. It gives the fundamentalists the excuse to use their holy book to legitimize terrorists’ actions, but at the same time they forget that according to the Quran they are required to use the nonviolent methods to improve themselves as Muslims. The terrorists do not follow the ideas of the greater jihad, which rest on the constant improvement and elimination of all sins as well as work for the community. Terrorists don't follow the Quran as a whole, they don't admonish all the rules, and they don't understand what it means to be Muslim. They are brainwashed and that is the main reason which explains their actions.
In this point the most interesting question is, who are the terrorists? Who are the people responsible for attacks like 9/11, Madrid or London 7/7 bombing? Marc Sageman in the introduction to his book “Leaderless Jihad” presents the portrait of the typical terrorist. He presents Omar Sheikh, a person in charge of many terrorist acts, who spent five years in an Indian prison. What is interesting about him is that he was born in the UK in a middle class family, he attended the best schools, and for the first part of his life he lived in a “Western style”. Also, for a long time Islam was not important to him. This picture is sort of typical. If we will look at the biggest terroristic attacks in the past few years we will see that most of the people in charge of the attacks were either born in a Western culture or they were living in Europe or the US for a significant part of their lives. From the terrorists in charge of September 11, Mohamed Atta born in Egypt, who studied in Germany where he got in touch with Al-Qaeda; Ramzi Ahmed Yousef born in Kuwait, who since 1992 lived in the US; Mahmud Abouhalima, who was born in Egypt and since 1981 lived in Germany; Ahmed Mohammad Ajaj, who was born in the West Bank and immigrated to Houston, Texas, and Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, who was born in Kuwait and studied in the US. Most of the attackers completed their studies in Western universities where they for the first time got in touch with Al-Qaeda. Terrorists, who were in charge of the London bombing fit to this scheme as well. There were four boys with ages between 19 and 30 who were living in UK, who were studying or working, including one of them, who had pregnant wife.
What we can observe from presented information is that the majority of terrorists are either born in Western countries, or immigrate or study there for a significant part of their lives. A lot of them convert to Islam, from being atheists or agnostics. Lots of them became fundamentalists just after converting or realizing the importance of religion. It leads to the thesis that Islam itself in not a cause of terrorism and fundamentalism. As we can see from the example of terrorists who were in charge of the London bombing, two of them were good students, British citizens, and people who were not very interested in religion. However they changed after their trip to Pakistan. We might assume that they were brainwashed over there and it was the cause who they became terrorists and participate in the London bombing.
Marc Sageman in his book presents a conversation between two Egyptian Muslims. One of them, Ahmed Al-Sayed Osman Rabei, was implicated in the Madrid bombings, and the other, Mahmud, was his roommate and a nonterrorist. This conversation shows their different perspectives on religion. When Rabei claims that Americans are enemies of God, Mahmud answers: “Listen to me, there is only one God. Frankly, I do not care if someone is Jewish, Orthodox, or Catholic; everyone is free to pray to the God he chooses, and it is neither up to me nor up to you to judge. (…) I only know one thing: praying to God. The important thing is for you to know God, to pray, and not to behave badly, and to not do things that are not right. All the rest is superficial (…)”. In this conversation we find the contrast between two types of Muslims: one type, which followed the Quran and another type, which went through brainwashing processes and became capable of being involved in terrorist attacks. We can see from this conversation that being Muslim requires the acceptance of other religions. In Mahmud words we can see a lot of respect and mutual understanding, and the space for intercultural dialogue. Opinions presented by Rabei, especially claims like: “Do you like it when they [Jews’] kill our brothers”, “(…) you do not see the blood that flows over the land of the world”, or “They are asses, disbelievers, they exploit you, and after you have been here you have nothing, neither your honor nor dignity” shows the high level of indoctrination and how much he combines religion with politics. Osman Rabei was a political asylum-seeker in Germany, and then he moved to Spain. He was suspected of being the “recruiter” of the group and imam who was in charge of indoctrination of young Muslims.
Sageman answers the question if Islam can be the cause of terrorism by giving one more argument. He says that most of the terrorists are not well educated in the religion. He writes: “The majority of terrorists come to their religious beliefs through self-instruction. Their religious understanding is limited; they know about as much as any secular person, which is to say very little. Often, they have not started reading the Quran seriously until they are in prison.” We can ask then, why the religion became such an important factor in their lives. By answering this question we will answer as well why they became terrorists. There are probably different factors: either they met someone who exposed them into the radical views, or they were discriminated based on their ethnic background in the countries they were living. There is no evidence that Islam itself could be the reason.
There are many Muslims living in peace and negating all types of violence. Those Muslims (like Mahmoud) are definitely the majority. Although they follow the Quran and as well the rule of jihad they do not become terrorists. Therefore the religion cannot be the cause of terrorism. Muslims who become terrorists are rather the exception, and the causes are mostly based on factors not connected with religion.

This paper includes quotes and is partly inspired by:
Sageman, Marc “Leaderless Jihad. The networks in the twenty-first century”, University of Pennsylvania Press 2008

Studying in USA - FINALS

2009-02-07T21:41:00.003+01:00

Once more I will say that the life at Hendrix College was totally different then in Poland, especially during finals. I remember from Poland that during finals I couldn’t sleep, I was studying days and nights, fighting with professors to let you even try to pass something. A lot of coffee, a lot of energizing drinks, tons on papers on the floor of your room, and I was getting crazy about all of this.

At Hendrix it was different. At first we didn't have that much to study and somehow I was better prepared! And come one, I didn't have to memorize 100 clasifications, which are almost the same:)

I took it easy, maybe I wasn't prepared the best I could, maybe I don't have only “A’s” from all my classes, but I have learnt a lot more the usually, and had a lot of fun!

1. Finals I had

All together I had three exams out of my four classes and papers to write. Everything was rather easy. Usually I had exams only from a small part of material covered during the semester. It was like this in class “American Parties and Elections”, the test was for 30 minutes and you had to identify and describe 10 terms. In one class I even didn’t have exam, just one paper to submit. This paper was done few minutes before deadline, and night before I was preparing Glueh Wein for my friends
There was one exam a bit more difficult, and much longer. We had test, few open questions and one essey to write. And I am damm bad in writing! But my biggest problem was that I had to go to the restroom! So I was writing this essey as fast as possible, and I was one of the firsts who done it. Then I looked on other people and what shocked me was – people had laptops with them – OPEN! They were going to toilets all the time. That is what would never happened in Poland. All of this might be considered as cheating, and of course all people would cheat!

2. Hendrix specials

I was afraid that my last days at Hendrix I will send alone while everybody else will be studying, and parties during finals won’t be possible. And it was much more quiet, in dorms they had early silent hours (also during weekends). Even during our last party in the last day, we were kindly aks to shut up.

But there are few traditions as Hendrix during the final week, which were surprising for me, but I enjoy it.

First was famous “Martin Run” (Martin it is a name of one of the men’s dorm). One of my friend from this hall told me to be in the library at 10 pm. He didn’t want to tell me what for, but I got to know I will enjoy it. So I went there.
Library which was usually quiet place, was this time laud, full of people smiling to each other, and waiting for something. They were not studying rather gathering together waiting for a show. The show started at 10.10pm. At first the brave group of Martin guys went to the toilet in the first floor, there they took off the cloths and put the boxes on their heads (not to be recognized). Then they started running around library complately nacked; some of them had green faces painetd on their asses!

The second even took place also in the library. This time it was not a secret, almost everyone got to know about it (mostly thanks to facebook and standart gossips). It was the library flash mob Rave, as a form of study break.

3. Party time

Someone may say that finals it is a study time. I will agree, but only partly! Maybe there was no big crazy parties, but for me it was one of the best times at Hendrix. There was no difference between day and night, we just wanted to have fun. So we had Christmas party, we were chilling out listening to a good music, watching movies in the middle of the night, I had friends sleeping oven in my place, we had Gluehwein party, we were creating drinking games with my roomates, walking around the campus at 3 am because of snow, and finally we were drinking just before exams.
Once I was studying in the library for exam, which I should have next morning. One of my friend who was also studying gave the idea, why not to have one drink before going to sleep. So around midnight we went to my place, and the time passed by, I remember that we involved my roomate into same serious discussions (she had exam next morning as well). I think that around 4 am we decided to be responssible:)
I think that Finals it was this time, when I had kind of parties everyday. I was very happy person then, and sad that I am going home soon.

Chinese proverb

2009-01-29T11:42:00.002+01:00

It is something what I got today and I have to say, I really like it. One chinese proverb, which I found very interesting and true...

"Go to the people

Live with them

Love them

Learn from them

Understand their problems

Start with what they have

Build on what they have

When the task is accomplished

With love, let them say

'We have done this ourselves'."

Obama's Inauguration Speech - my comments

2009-01-21T14:33:00.001+01:00

It was yesterday, the 44th president of United States took his office. There were millions of people in Washington's Mall and much more watching him in TV or most probably online (as I did).

I watch the “show”, today in the morning I red the whole speech one more time. And I would like to write about my first impression, parts that everyone is writing about because it looks like they will be famous, parts of the speech which are a bit more questionable for me and the general meaning.

Enjoy reading...

1. My first impression

I don't know what I was expecting from this speech, maybe to be great, maybe to be memorable, I wanted from this speech to surprise me. I was a bit disappointed. For the first time when I was watching Obama's speech I had the impression that he was very stressed. He was not smiling at all, his face was showing rather anger or maybe it was his seriousness. Instead of empathy he showed us that right now he is the most powerful man in the world.

The speech in general was good. He done, what he had to. He spoke about peoples' responsibility, how great is America and people living there, no matter of race, sex, level of education etc. He showed that he knows what people needs, he address his father roots and talked about the world policy (but not in this way that America will really get involved, it was rather call to other leaders for action). It was about everything he had to talk.

The thing that impressed me was his good relations with Bush, I was watching them meeting in White House then going together to Capitol and then after the change had happened. They looked like a good friends and somehow I was very happy about it.

2. What the world will remember

From this kind of important speeches there are always some parts that world will remember like:

"Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1933, in the midst of the Great Depression

“My fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.” John F. Kennedy (1961)

“There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America.” Bill Clinton (1993)

So what was special in the Obama's speech and why?

I have chosen three quotes that I think will be remembered for a long time. Sentences written with passion, important for Americans and “smart”.

“Today, I say to you that the challenges we face are real, (...) They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America, they will be met.”

- after this as far as I remember he got an applause; somehow many people said it before that this sentence has to be in the speech; it is good formulated and it will be memorable because of the content. Right now everyone expected Obama to say it, but in few years the reality will be just a history and the words will stay.

“To all other peoples and governments who are watching today, (...) from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born, know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.”

- tis was important because of the US position in the world. As we know there was a huge anti-Bush movement around the world which influenced the status of US. Moreover Americans truly believe that they can and should rule the world (somehow I can agree because they have money they want to spend), but they want to have this feeling that they are someone special (who doesn't). This words says America will be once more the world's superpower that everyone will respect.

“a man whose father less than 60 years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.”

- Obama address here in the very touching way the issue of race, somehow no matter who you are now it is not like 60 years ago, now we are equal. He proof it by being chosen as the 44th US president

3. What I don't like or don't understand

and in the end quotes that surprised me or just I want to comment.

“To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect,(...) To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history — but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.”

I was shocked that he address Muslim world at first. And I don't know how to understand this words. Let's say Obama make a move to the cooperation, talks about mutual respect and that US is willing to help, but I don't like how those words are formulated. I have this impression that Obama has very negative opinion about this part of the world. And for me this words are rather words of criticism than encourage to cooperation.

“With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in it's defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.”

I don't get this part either. I think that the aim of this was to show how strong America will be under the Obama's administration. Just I cannot imagine that he could say that “we will not apologize for our way of life”, he said as well that he won't defense it, but the meaning for me is clear. He doesn't take the responsibility for global warming, and for the wars Bush started, he doesn't think that it is US fault. Maybe Americans would like it, I don't know, I would like to hear any comments, but my understanding of this is rather negative.

4. The meaning

I think that this speech will be commented for a really long time. I like what I red today in the polish newspaper. That Obama is not to black but also not to white, he is not to young and not to old and he has not too much experience but also not to little. And I can say following this words he had chosen the right time to be a president:)

Before Barack Obama inauguration

2009-01-20T14:25:00.004+01:00

It is about 3 hours before the ig change in US politics, as hopefully in world's politics as well. I felt the enthusiasm of people while being in US and it makes me follow what happens now.

Because the elections of 2008 are the topic of my master thesis, I would like to make same small analysis, just before the inauguration.

1. What will be in Obama's speech

There are of course many topics which will be covered in the speech. Obviously the economy, and most probably Obama will repeat parts of his speech from the election day. He will address the issue that he needs help from all Americans to make a change and it won't be a easy tasks, and all Americans had to get prepared for not easy times.
Secondly he has to address the issue of country's security, hopefully he will mention something about closing Guantanamo prison (as a human rights lawyer I think he should do it). I am still curious what he will say about wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. I have still in my mind his words from the campaign "We have to take the nuclear weapons out of the hands of terrorists" (only countries has nuclear weapons!). It makes me think what will be his position in the relation with Iran, Israel, Pakistan?
I don't think he will say a lot about world politics or international relation besides the security issue. I just hope or rather would like to hear about his plans for the global politics, his plan for fighting with global problems, helping the failed states, eradicating poverty, improving security in the developing world. And as the first Afro-American president who even during the campaign was traveling to Kenya, to the country of is father origins, I think he should do it (and that is not American point of view:) ).

There might be one more thing, very important in the speech - the bipartisanship. I think (or rather hope) that Obama wants to seek for the wide cooperation within the country. He wrote about it in his second book - "The Audacity of Hope". He wrote about his first time in the Capitol meeting the politicians and only the few of them, the oldest generation could easily cooperate for the better future. This situation used to be normal just after the second world war, because the politicians had the some background (most of them were soldiers in the was). In the last cupple of years both parties couldn't cooperate with other almost at all. In the book Obama dislike it, and hopefully bipartisanship will the the direction where his politics would go.

2. The meaning of Obama's speech

There is right now more then 2 million people in Washington or maybe even more already. In the universities students are organizing watch parties, many people watch the news at home, most probably the speech will be seen by most of the world.
There are very high expectations towards Barack Obama. What make this day even more special he will be the first Afro-American president in the history. He takes the country after the second less popular president in US history (first one was Nixon who had to resign because of Watergate). There is a lot of things to fix in US (economy and the biggest crisis in the last years) as well as in the world (Afghanistan, Iraq, Guantanamo, Energy crisis, failed states).

All of this leads me to the thought - Americans expect that this speech will be as important as "I have a dream speech" of Martin Luther King in 1963. Those two events will be compared and connected. Barack Obama will be standing in the some place as Martin Luther King, and he will be speaking as a first Afro-American president, while Martin Luther King spoke of his desire for a future where blacks and whites, among others, would coexist harmoniously as equals.

Maybe Obama's speech will be the last stage of Martin's Luther King dream being realized.

Or maybe he is just good selling product for all media, and this whole enthusiasm is caused by good PR?

Drinking games

2009-01-02T12:30:00.015+01:00

Maybe it will sound stupid, but this is one of the things I can say I learnt in US - how to play drinking games. At first I was rather sceptical about it. I didn't like the idea of drinking to be drunk (and still I don't like this idea), but my perception on drinking games changed. I really have to say that I had a lot of fun playing them and I want to share with u the whole story and some rules.

1. Beer-pong

This is classic. Played everywhere, in each big party, very popular in Martin Hall. What u need is just big table, two ping-pong balls and 12 or 20 caps (ussually plastic caps are used). Cap with hot water would be also useful.

How to play: make 2 pyramids out of caps on the opposite sites of the table and then fill all the cups with the beer (or something else, everything is possible); choose person who is going to play with u. Stand in fron of yours caps, take a ball and through the ball into the other persons cap. If u will do it, your oponent has to drink what is inside. Then swich:)

Here u can find funny movie with instructions:

2. Card game with tasks.

One of the first drinking game I remember it was a card game. The rules are simple: place all cards on the floor and take one card.

Each card have a hiden task; depends on the number u choose u have to:
As - waterfall - u start drinking and the rest of the circle start, they will drink untill u stop:)
2 - youx2 - so choose the person who drinks twice:)
3 - me - u drink:)
4 - ... - girls drink
5 - make a toast - u make a toas and everyone drink
6 - dicks - so all guys drink
7 - guess + add - I don't remember what's that
8 - ticket mate - so u drink with one more person choosen by u
9 - rime $ relate - that is kind of roll game, one person has to choose word, then next one rime to it like chick and pig, second one has to relate like pig and animal then next one rime to animal and so one; who makes mistake drink.
10 - categories - u choose a category and people in a roll has to add something to this category - like US presidents, or capitals in Europe; why doesn't know drinks
jack - gesture master - person who has this card establis a gesture, when anyone make the gesture all has to make it as well; who will do it as last one drinks
queen - question - I don't remember how it is, but we can say person ask questions how answer first chooses person who drinks
king - make a rule - person can make any rule s/he wants to like noone can go to the toilet, or when I drink person X drinks with me and so one...

3. Game with hands:)

This game is very hard to explain but I will try because we had a lot of fun with this.
So sit in the circle and put both of your hands on the floor (it might be on the table). Then u have to mix hands a bit. The easiest way is to put the right hand behind the hand on your right and left hand behind (or maybe better say under) the hand on your left.
The whole game is about clapping. One person clap on the floor then the next hand in the circle has to clap and the next one and the next one... There is the possibility of changing the direction by clapping twice. Whoever makes mistake (even put the hand up) drinks a shot!

It was really amazing game. That night a lot of people pass out:) but still we end up still playing in the TV room around 5 am :)with people with good drinking condition

4. Every minute game

I think that this game has better, more proffessional name but I will stick to this one:) Well I wouldn't call it even game, it was rather kind of custom, always during the Wendensday fest in Martin Hall.
The rules are easy. You have party and the music change every minute, when music change you drink:) Usual time of playing is either one hour or 100 minutes. Enjoy!

5. "Never have I ever"

Game I have found boring but we played it few times with different people so I will write few words.
Rules are easy, one person says "Never have I ever..." and something they have never done in their life, and all people who done it drinks. Thats all.

6. Quarters game

Very popular game played by my roomate as well as in many of our parties (mostly on Huntington street). We have created many variation of this game.

Basic rules: All players stand around a table, and, in turn, try to bounce the quarter off the table into the shot glass. If successful, the player tells any other player to have a drink. If the player fails, play passes to the next in the circle.

Variations:
Because after a long play it becomes very difficult to place a quarter in the shot glass, the variation of this game is person whos turn it is, choose person who drinks, and in this way we have eliminated the difficult part - putting quarter in the shot glass:)

7. Pyramid game

Very interesting game. It was created during one party when it was already late at night, but my roomates were in the room and cupple of my guests. There is the game called pyramid, where u have to take cards and place them on the floor in the shape of pyramid. But when we have done it, we didn't know what to do next.
So we created our own rules. One person was choosing card from pyramids and turning it to see what card is it. Then the rest in the roll were choosing cards not from pyramid. And of course who had the lowest number was drinking.

IMPORTANT: this game is good to play late at night. When we tried to start one party with this game it was very boring.

8. Flying cards game

This is the most stupid game I ave ever created. But somehow it was fun:)

You take all cards u have, through them up and let them fall all over the room. The task is to collect as many cards as possible. Who will collect the biggest amout choose 3 people who drinks.

9. Red or Black:)

As well very stupid game. One person have cards and in the roll people have to choose if the next card will be black or red. If person will not guess, drinks. If person will guess, person on his/her right drink.

Very important in this game is that after each shot person has to howl to the full moon as laud as s/he can.

10. Game we have never played

The game we have never played, but I have found it in internet and find in interesting. It is called Drug diller. It is very entertaining.

the rules u will find here

_______________________________________________

I think that my history with drinking games has ended for a while. I am back in the adults world. In the beginning I have found the idea of drinking games very stupid, but with time I liked it a lot. There is one more thing very important - drinking games are not to get drunk! It is good to drink things U like! The most important thing is to enjoy your time and stop in the right moment. Not to get drunk and loose all the night of amazing party.

How I became once more a child

2008-12-23T08:12:00.007+01:00

Someone told me many years ago: "Aga please never grow up". It was the time when I was in secondary school (high-school), I was the biggest idealist you could ever seen and I was celebrating my 6th birthday every year, because I didn't want to grow up. In the end of my secondary school I got a diploma with the text "for doing things, which everybody though are impossible". I am still proud of this and it is still hanging on my wall. With the small change I have already grown up.

I was awsome times when everything was possible, everyone loved each other and we had heads full of amazing ideas. We believed in friendship, love, peace, true, ut most important we believed that in the future we would be those happy people we want to be - idealists.

It is right now almost 6 years since I have finished my secondary school. For most of this time I was working, studying, travelling and doing many other things. During this time I just forgot the person I used to be. I am not saying that I changed so much, because I done many this which most probably I would do anyway. Rather I stopped thinking like I used to think.

Well someone might claim that being idealist is stupid, somehow I agree after my own experience. But it was so amazing to met few people who used to be like me few years ago and who shown me how the smallest things can make U so happy.

If u wanna get back to the times when u used to dream, it is a perfect song for u:

How it is just before everything ends...

2008-12-09T04:34:00.004+01:00

I should study right now, I have important final on Wednesday, but still I can invest the next 15 minutes to think about coming back home.

Tonight during the dinner, one of my firends said something about the party tonight. Someone mention - yes, we have someting to celebrate; and I realized that today was my last day of classes. It is the end. Just 2 more exams and thats all! I was pritty surprised.

How do I feel? This time is different. From the very beginning I knew that it will be like holidays, that I should not get close to people because I will never see them again (this happen for the first time, because before I always knew I will meet them soon). I have treated this stay as something out of my reality and from the first day I was trying to enjoy everything, not to regret after.

Right now I have 8 days to go. I don't feel it, I am not sad that I am leaving, because I still didn't realized it. Only one thing which proof that soon I am coming back to reality (my life in Poland) is that I started planning. I know when my university is open and when I have to be there, I know when my teachers have office hours and I know when my friends are at home.

I know one thing - I cannot get sentimental! I cannot miss this place and spend to much time on thinking about what I would do if I would be there. Usually I am getting on plane, coming back from somewhere and this is enough to move my experience to the past, not live with the past, move to this what is in the future. Hopefully it will happen as well this time. I don't know... What I know for sure is - I have a lot of things to do in Poland, and still I have to find out what to do with my life:)

Various thoughts from my last days

2008-12-09T04:04:00.007+01:00

Honestly I have so many things to write about, so many memories in my head and still so many questions... but I don't have time to do it right now.

Today was my last day of classes and by accident I had my first final. I am leaving US on 18th of December, and this place most probably on 17th... I still have two finals and two papers to write, and a lot of upcoming parties. I have to say goodbye to everyone and I think I just want to enjoy my last day as much as possible not to regret after.

The purpose of this entry is to make a list of all things I want to write after coming back home (less then 10 days!). Here in US i finally learn how to write papers so hopefully right now there will be less stupid gramar mistakes.

So soon I will work on the following topics:

1. Why the small college in Arkansas was awsome
2. How I build the amazing and loving family at Hendrix
3. What happen when someone has birthsday
4. I don't like american movies
5. What does it mean "to become americanized"
6. I still have bad luck while travelling
7. Singing in arabic, on the streets of Chicago and other stuff
8. My awsome teachers - it was really cool
9. How it is to have roomate
10. What I like about America: classic rock (and maybe I will find some other things)
11. History of VZ 101
12. Model UN - one of the best experiences ever
13. Why I love asian people
14. What does it mean: drinking like americans
15. Imagine - there are a lot of dreamers...
16. Studying in US
17. The elections and a bit more about politics
18. "Winter wonderland" - when I was in Christmas mood
19. My dear friends
20. ... and many more

I will have a lot of time to write, because I have no plans for Christmas and New Years Eve, besides meeting with few friends who will stay in Wroclaw for break, I will have nothing to do...

So u r more then welcome to visit my blog around Christmas time

... and this is my new hair cut :)

Summary 1 - Intercultural shock

2008-11-11T22:28:00.005+01:00

Everyone has it, that's true, but acctualy it looks different in the theory and in practice.

Theory is simple. everyone has cultural shock when going to leave abroad in different culture, just some people are reacting stronger and the symptoms are more visible.

To understand what is cultural shock u have to know the stages. One of the most popular description I have found on wikipedia:

* Honeymoon Phase - During this period the differences between the old and new culture are seen in a romantic light, wonderful and new. For example, in moving to a new country, an individual might love the new foods, the pace of the life, the people's habits, the buildings and so on.
* Negotiation Phase - After some time (usually weeks), differences between the old and new culture become apparent and may create anxiety. One may long for food the way it is prepared in one's native country, may find the pace of life too fast or slow, may find the people's habits annoying, etc. This phase is often marked by mood swings caused by minor issues or without apparent reason. Depression is not uncommon.
* Adjustment Phase - Again, after some time (usually 6 - 12 months), one grows accustomed to the new culture and develops routines. One knows what to expect in most situations and the host country no longer feels all that new. One becomes concerned with basic living again, and things become more "normal".
* Reverse Culture Shock (a.k.a. Re-entry Shock) - Returning to one's home culture after growing accustomed to a new one can produce the same effects as described above, which an affected person often finds more surprising and difficult to deal with as the original culture shock.

Symptoms of culture shock include:

* Homesickness
* Boredom
* Withdrawal
* Excessive sleep
* Compulsive eating/drinking
* Irritability
* Stereotyping host nationals
* Hostility towards host nationals

In practice - you can not say if u have depression caused by cultural shock or not. I had this kind of feelings that once was better and once was worse. Sometimes I just wanted to sit in my room and do nothing and I was forcing myself to go out and find people and not sit alone. I was complaining as well, mostly on food. I was walking through cafeteria to find something tasty and I couldn't. I couldn't understand why everything has to be sweet, or fat, or just without any taste. I was bored as well. What I din't observe in my case but I have observed on the example of other international students - I didn't complain that much. I was not annoyed "how americans are", "how americans party" and so one.

When I wrote, that it is hard to say if depression some people have is caused by intercultural shock or not, becuase there are some other important factors when u r moving abroad. Sometimes you might be just tired, somethimes you can feel lonely, sad about things happening in the place u r living now. If you want to fight with the symptoms of cultural shock the worse thing u can do is to excuse your behaviour that everything is caused by cultural shock and do nothing.

Time to start summary

2008-11-11T22:14:00.005+01:00

hmmmm, I haven't wrote for a while, but I think it is becuase those last few month were very intense in some way. I hava a bit more then one month to stay in US, and just few days to really enjoy life at Hendrix.

I have just 10 days before I will go for my thanksgiving break and conference, so during this time I will be separated from the life here, then there is one more week of classes and finals so I guess that people will be much more stressed about their grades and they will not likely party so much. So I have 10 days...

Therefore I decided to start sum up what happened here and as well use those days to enjoy my time as much as possible...

Finally some travels plans

2008-09-22T02:32:00.005+02:00

OK I spend already one month in the some place, of course it happened before and I am enjoying it all the time even more, but it is time to travel:) finally, yupi!

OK I have 3 places on my list:

1. Vancouver and Seattle

This trip is planned for fall break so we will start at 6am from Little Rock and get to Seattle, then we will spend few days in Seattle and move to Vancouver. I still have some concerns if I will get in to Canada (where Vancouver is) because theoreticaly since 1 of March 2008 I don't need vida to Canada, but I need to have machinally readable passport and I have no idea what is that! Most probleby I have it and it will be OK:)

So Vancouver - I have heared a lot about this city, that it is nice and so one, I sill have to check what can we do there but till now looks great.

What was stressfull already - it was to buy tickets. We were buying in 3 people and we had to buy one by one. So the first one was girl from France, she manage to get the ticket very cheaply, thenwhen Mexican guy were trying to buy one it was already 3 times more expensive, but somehow on other page he did it, he bought a cheap ticket, but there was nothing left for me. ANd we were looking and looking and trying to find a solution. So the solution is that I am staying one day longer in Seattle :) missing more classes...

2. New Orleans

Being honest it is one of those places I really want to see. I think the reason why is that I am looking for a cities with specific climate, I prefere them even if they are dirty and dangerous then very good developed industrial cities like most probably Vancouver will be.
Plan to go to New Orleans is rather new but i hope I will manage. One week after the fall break there is a misic festival in this city, looks awsome, mostly rock, but as well some blues and jazz and as far as I know only very good bands are going to play, and the biggest star will be REM (I still remember their songs when I was in primary school and we were dancing to this music in the schools discos, I was maybe 10-12 yrs old).

3. Chicago and Washington

This is combine formal and informal trip. At first I am going to Chicago with my University to participate and Model UN conference:) We are going to represent India and simulate the whole conference - I am going to be a delegate to UNEP - United Nations Environmental Programme. And what is freaking me out is that I have to buy suite! Formal something and I have no idea where to find it. And most probably I would have to wear high hills! Can u imagine me on hing-hills? I can't:)

So I am going there with my university and within the group with another international student from Austra. Then after conference finished (and thanks giving starts) there are some other austrians and one french joining us to visit Chicago together, then we are all together moving to Washington.

And thats all... I still haven't seen any of those places so I cannot write more.

cheers
Aga

how fast you can accomodate to the new place

2008-09-19T03:38:00.003+02:00

Today it is exacky one month when I am here in USA, studying in one of the colleges here, in the south, in the "natural state", middle of nowhere - Arkansas!

After this month I can say that finally I got used to, i already developed some habits, found friends and everything is already typical. Actually I didn't go through this stage when everything was new, and I wanted to see everything, be everywhere and do as much as possible (I am talking about the stage which is in intercultural shocked theory called honey moon).

So how my typical day look like?

There are few elements which are repeating quite often, and I can call them already habits.

1. Eating in the cafeteria - even before entering cafeteria and seeing what is in todays "menu" I know what I will eat today; depends on the time I have for meal it is either vegetarian meal from "home style buffet" and in addition salad (always the some, just sometimes I am trying to change dressing and after I am saying to myself it was a bad choice). Very important element of spending time in the cafeteria is of course chatting with people. Sometimes it takes us more then one hour just sitting and discussing a day; even with friends we don't have to discuss when we are going to eat, without asking I know they will be there at 6 pm everyday:D

2. Sitting in front of Burrow - almost after each meal (if we don't have classes just after) once more we are just sitting and chatting with the some people; in the mornings mostly I am reading newspaper there and afternoons we are sitting and reading, sometimes getting crazy and doing stupid things like writing on each other bodies and so...

3. Going to WAC - this is sport center where I am trying to go as much as possible. When I have a classes, it is always the some water aerobic, and then in the evening just to have a break we are going tot he gym, and once more always the some - firstly 20 minutes on bicyckle then some exercices on my belly and hands. It takes almost one hour :)

4. Libery - I really like this place, so quite and peaceful, I have already found the place where I am usually sitting, next to the window on the small couches in the very and, totally hidden.

5. VZ 101 the meeting place - I am praud that my room became kind of meeting place where we usually have parties or just meeting and talking. I have a small firdge when almost always you can find cold beer (and for US conditions even good). I have a radio which have possibility to connect it with ipod so we have nice music as well and a lot of space just perfect to have fun and chill out a bit.

And thats all - there are different people mailing me and asking whats new, how I am doing ect. I can already say nothing, it is not that fascinating that most people imagine, but it is nice to stay finally in one place and just live a simple life.

thats all - maybe only one more message to you: don't be afraid to move to some other place, it is not that bad, don't expect that living in other place will be like holidays, no it will quickly become "normal" but in a very positive sense

watch parties - Obama speech

2008-09-01T23:29:00.005+02:00

One of the very interesting things which I am all the time in touch with in US are presidencial elections. I like that on my campus they are organizing something calles "watch parties" so meeting where people can watch some interesting events connected with elections and as well discuss it and eat something:)

Last Thuersday we were watching Obama first speech after he was formally choosen for an official candidate for president of United States by Democrats. His speech was very good and a lot of people were aplauzing it all the time during our small party, including the huge ovations in the end.

What he was talking about...

The speech was focused mostly on the domestic policy. There is a big interests in the society in economy and he spend a lot of time on this issue. For me the most controversial was his idea of reducing the taxex for families. In US they have bracket taxes, which according to my ideas is not equal at all. As well everybody knows that if one taxes will be reduced there should e ones which will increase, so why to do it?

It was talking about a lot of social issues like health care for everybody and the easier acces to education. He mentioned that everybody who is serving country or state should have possibility for collage education.

What I have really enjoyed it was his focused on sustainable development, we was talking a lot about new soursec of energy and the need of environmental protection. Afterwords me mentioned about such an issues like reducing poverty and disises and climate change.

Why I think the speech was very good one

Firstly we have to focuse on the aim of this speech, so has to get the votes of around 20% of poeple who are in the center and who are not convinces who to vote. Therefore he had to make his speech more conservative as usually and he did. For example he toucht the topic of gay and lesbians and their rights. He said that maybe there is not yet the time for gey marridges but it is the time to give rights for the partners to visit each other in hospitals or pay taxes together. What might be interpretated as his agreement on formal legalization of partherships. As well he said "we will not agree on abortion but we could agree on reducing a number of unwanted pregnencies".

So here you can see that this difficult topics he addressed to both conservative and liberal voters.

Secondly the aim for sure was to show the difference between him and McCain. What he have done is he address his speech to avarage Americans, via showing that he is one of them. We was speaking a lot abbout his family and his background (he was from devorced family raised just by working mother), which makes him understanding more needs of people. HE said as well that he doesn't have "Washington background", he didn't have any careere there and McCain did have. With this he showed that we want to be a politician who will change the country and not just make a careere in Washington.

He finish his speech with words "Elections are not about me, it's about you" and "change will come to Washington"

Lastly, the speech was not negative, he didn't want to make black campaing. As well is was very gender correct.

What I didn't like

There was once sentecne which made me angry on him. It was: "Keep nuclear weapons out of hends of terrorists". We can ask each other who has nuclear weapons? Just countris like USA, France, Israel, India, Pakistan, North Corea and Iran (and maybe more more which I forgot right now). So telling keep the nuclear weapon out of hends of terrorists is for me statemen that there are some countries which he thinks they are terroristic. Abd abviously even if in some countries terrorists live we can not say that all the people living in the country are terrorists. Because in all those countries I mentioned avarage people wants just peace!

Maybe he said that because Americans expected it. I have no idea if it was with purpose or not. If saying that it was mistake or he wanted to make this statement to fulfil americans needs.

I am looking foreward for McCain speech. I will comment is as well...

cheers
Aga

First weeks in USA

2008-09-01T05:08:00.003+02:00

There are already amlost 2 weeks since I came to study in USA. There miht be a problem here to write about different places, where I am travelling because actually I am in the middle of nowhere, where is no public transportation and I have classes everyday, so most probably I wont travel a lot. But... still I can write my about my "Hendrix experience".

Till now I can say that everything looks different. You might say that USA belong to the some civilization as Europe and we are not so different, but living here shows something totally different.

There are a lot of differences, starting from the obvious ones like food, ending on the way of life.

Some things that surprized me:

1. People here can go in pijama to the classes - can you imagine? Well in Europe maybe full make-up is not required but some dress code has to be; is it really so big problem to put jeans and t-shirt in the morning?

2. Still to the dress code - yesterday we had rock concert on our campus, and that I saw: girls wearing very nice dresses and high-hills!!!!!!!!! on the rock concert? how they can dance in high-hills:)

3. Food - well everyone who have seen any of american movies knows that americans are eating fast foods and food is usually very sweet and fat. I was expecting that and of course I have seen, but fortunatelly thay have as well very good vegetarian food, a lot of salads so it is not that bad, but... what is totally surprizing - there are a lot of events and the obligation is to serve free food (maybe to encourage people to come). In each invitation there is written that free food will be available :) even there was some christian event (I don't know promoting what) but it was all about ice-creams. It sounds like we are Christians, we are inviting you for free ice-creams, and maybe via eating ice-creams you will start elieving in GOD :)

4. I didn't expected either that all the parties here are particulary about getting drunk and facking. I was trying to have party few times but mostly I was ending up in such a places that I didn't want to stay at all...

OK... maybe it sounds vary bad, but it is not. My first impression was "what am I doing here" but witt the time it is getting better. With the paprties I realized that mostly freshmens (first year) are behaving like that because that theirs first year far from parents, and even not all of them, because I have already met some amazing people. I started enjoying free food and drinks, becase when the event is long it is nice to be able to take something to drink, and not to go to the shop and miss part of the event. And with the dress code, it is good to know that if I wont make my loundry on time I can enjoy walking in pyjama (but I doubt I will ever do it)

I am looking forward for upcoming weeks...

Screaming party

2008-08-21T18:45:00.003+02:00

So I am having my intercultural shock right now:D

On eof the first things to understand and analyze the culture is to look on facts. After you can start tryingg to understand what each behaviour means. Like in one very ince ICL game: girls were sitting on the floor and guys on the hairs, girls were feeding guys and so one. Those are facts but many people in this game misunderstand them, telling that it is gender discrimination, and knowing the story why they are doing those things, change totally the undestanding of situation.

Therefore I will try to present just facts from last night, without any judgement, maybe I will understand it later...

We were asked to move to the gym, like everyone on the campus. Around 300 people were walking together for some time, what was characteristic it was a scream. One person starts screaming, then the next one, and next one... It was generally laud. All the freshmens were told to move to one gym, after standing there around 15 minutes, we were told to go to the other one, I followed the folk, it was so laud. Next to the gate to gym in two lines there were a lot of people in the some shirts standing and screaming and showing either right or felt hand.

When all the people get in to the hall, people in the some t-shirts started running around us and screaming, lauder and lauder. Finally all the poeple in the some shirts went to the stage and all the others sit down on the floor.

IN the next 2 hours we were told to do many different things like get in groups of 3 people, 6 people and bigger, stay in the circle and sit down on our knees, shake the ass, there was a lot of jumping as well and of course a lot of screaming; quite often we were asked to say our name or sometimes even where are we from and what we like.

All this finished with staying in to big circles and shaking hands with a lot of people.

to be continue ... (after I will charge my battery)

one more airport story :)

2008-08-20T21:12:00.004+02:00

I am finally in US - healthy, tired and really happy that I ma finally here, becasue it was not easy!

The travel was so long and complicated. Till Paris it was ok, I was sleeping almost all the way, I have even overslept my meal in the plane, then in Paris CDG I realized that my flight is delayed, but still I was not that worried about it. Problems has started in the plane...

Firstly, I was so hungry and it appeared that I am not on the list of vegetarians! There was really nothing to eat; finally after a long conversation with the craw they brought me someting, but nothing hot.

Secondly, I realized that our delay will be rather big and I can miss my plane. I decided to do my best to cath the plane. Just after landing I was the first person who get out of the plane, then RUNNING i got to know what I have do next. Immigration! there was already a line, but I asked people and they let me in first, the guy from immigration was looking through the papers quite long but he was helpul telling where to go next.

Baggage! It looked so good, I had 35 minutes to take my laguagge and to to the plane. But... my lagguage was not there, and I was waiting and waiting... In the meantime I have met guy from Austria going to the some university as me. He was the first who had found his lagguage and run:)

Finally!! 10 minutes before my plane I got my lagguage! I was still hoping to catch plane. So I run through customs, then I was trying to find a right gate, then there was scanning hand lagguage. I had to take off my shoes, so i did continue without them:D I didn't have time to put them on!

While I was running i realized how big is this airport. And I had to catch the train to move to my gate. I was not the only one - plenty of people were screaming that they might be late.

OK, totally tires, sweting so much and stinky I finally got to my gate and I have meet the austrian guy over there. Of course we both missed the flight.

But this small chenge of plans had some advanteges as well. I had time to have some beer on the airport and meet some funny people (with whom we almost missed the next flight - because they changed the gate and there was no information)

ohhh... here is totally different, I will try to write next posts soon, one about americans in general because I have already a lot of observation and the second one aout Hendrix itself (thats name of college)

cheers
Aga

Almost on my way

2008-08-18T00:57:00.003+02:00

It is sooooo boring sitting at home with the feeling that everything is packed and ready for me to go. I still have around 2 hours and I have no idea what to do with myself.

My suitcase is about 21 kg - I hope I will not have problems on the airport. But I have all I need - including my magic box with shisha, 1 kg of tabacco (different flavours) and a bit of cols (I was looking for some more in Wroclaw but I couldn't find any, maybe because it was Saturday). I have as well vodka - of course Zubrowka and one beer for "american friend" :)

I am so happy because finally I have poncho finally. I was looking for the new one since I lost somewhere mine 2 years ago.

So what next, I was reading forum of my new university and there was nice topic: ow much are you taking with you. And people are writing about 5-6 boxes, full cars, a lot of stuff including TV, fridge, microwave and even chair to the computer:D hmmmmm.... I am happy with my limited stuff :) and I am happy about my shisha

One week to go

2008-08-11T14:56:00.004+02:00

Unbelievable, next week this time I will be already in the plane going to Arkansas, USA. Today I decided to start with preparation and what I realized it that I have already 3 working days (because in Friday we have national holiday) and too much things to do, as always.

few days later...

I wanted to write someting for few days but I couldn't find time to do that. Right now I can say I am almost prepared. I was thinking quite long what I have to take, how to pack, shell I take my backpack or rather suitcase? I decided not to take a lot of stuff, just I will take those cloths which i like and rest I will buy in US. Right now when US dollar and euro are so wick everything seems soooo cheap!

So Monday morning I am takin my plane from Berlin, then stop in Paris and Atlanta. I shiould be in Little Rock Monday evening local time. Then I can say I will start new life I hope...

any goals?

there are plenty of things which I am expecting after this stay in US. I am not sure if they are possible to realized but I will try. Those goals are:

--> chill out - I want to have few weeks without stress, running all the time and being overworked, I know that I am workoholic but I will try to change it
--> take care about myself - I hope it will be the next step after chilling out, I want to have more time for myself, rest, start eating more healthy lost weith
--> experience how it is to be a student - I realized lastly that I have never been thhe normal student, always studies were in addtiion to someting, maybe know it will be different, I really want to study
--> visit New Orleans - I have as well some expenctations about travelling, one of them is New Orleans, I will do my best to go there...
--> my master thesis - one of my main goals is to collect materials to write my master thesis, I want to work on this as much as possible to have less work coming back to Poland

Am I excited about my travel?

No I am not. For me travelling, changing places where I live is just "normal", I am not getting excited about that, just like that. But I am afraid that I will have to force myself to be excited or just lie to everyone about it.
I had already a lot of contact with different people from the university, both students and professors. In each e-mail I was getting there were a lot of expressions how excited are people...

"I am very excited that you all will be arriving at Hendrix in just a few days."
"We hope you are looking forward to a great year at Hendrix"
"Again i'm excited that your coming to Hendrix and can't wait to get to know you"
"Hey, i am so excited aout hte new semerster, and you?"
"I’m very excited to meet you! I just wanted to send you a note, telling you a little bit about myself. "

...and many more:) Just I am not sure how it will be over there when I will not show so much excitement as the others... but it can be fun:)

Am I stressed?

No, I am not. For 5 years I was taking care about people who are going to live abroad for one year and I think this gave me a lot fo experience. That's so wired but I cannot be stressed!!!!!!!!
But there are some things which are scaring mea bit, firstly I am afraid that I will be the oldest one over there and it will influence me a lot, and thats all:)

I hope to have nice time over there

Wadi Rum - places that amazed me

2008-08-03T11:04:00.010+02:00

I wanted to write few articles about places that amazed me the most. I was thinking about my different travels, sightseeing, places, monuments and what I realized is that mostly I am getting impressed by nature.

One of that places I have found in Jordan. We went from Amman to the south - to Petra and Wadi Rum. At first we got to Petra - one of the new 7 Wolrd Wonders.

Petra is a rose-stone city built in the 3rd century by Nabataenas, who carved palaces, temples, tombs, storerooms and stables from the sandstone cliffs.
I had there a very nice walk (what is quite difficult in Amman) and spend a nice afternoon, but if you want to go to Petra book the whole day for that. I was all the time said faster, faster we don't have time. And unfortunately I even didn't have time to make a good photos and fully enjoy. MAybe therefore I will say that this place was just nice...

Then we moved to Wadi Rum (Rum Valley). It was already the night when we got there and we was enjoying the sand storm, after it was raining. I haven't seen a lot. When it finished in the middle of the night with my firends we decided to walk around. There was nothing to see, but we claimb up some rocks and we have a very nice view on our camp. The plan was to wait until the sun rise. It was cold so we moved to our camp to wait there till the morning.

Of course we oversleep the sun rise, but when I woke up and went out of the tent I was shocked. I was so impressed, so amazed. The surrending was so wonderful, the rocks all around, the colours, the shapes... breath taking...

Then we decided to take a jeep trip through the desert. As well we didn't have enought time for that, and we took one of the shortest trips just 2 hours, but it was worth. Driving on the desert with the jeep, seeing amazing views ot that extraordinary desert, claimbing sand mountain and the rolling down the hill :) climbing the rocks over there and taking too much sun!

Yes - Wadi Rum it is this place I have to come back :)

Egyptian boyfriend

2008-08-02T18:34:00.004+02:00

hmmm... how to start, I want to write about my observation done during my "touristic" stay in Egypt.

Do you remember very old movie called "dirty dancing"? It was about a girl who went to summer resort for her holidays and fall in love with guy from stuff, in the background you can observe other girls, who were flirting with guys from stuff as well. For some of them it was the main aim of the holidays.

I was staying in the hotel in Hurghada just few days and still I do not know how to understand that, but I had the impression that all the people from stuff were flirting with me. I may find few reasons of this behaviour:
1) it is a hotel policy to flirt with guests as much as possible to make them leave with "amazing memories" and come back next year (lets call it PR purpose)
2) they just want to be nice, and saying to guests "e ya moza", "hello, how was your day" all the time, and trying to talk with you as much as possible it's part of they culture
3) they are counting for a cheap affair or fall in love
4) they think that girls are expecting summer romance with egyptian guy

How it looked like in my hotel in Hurghada

Besides a lot of people saying you all the time "hello, how you doing" there was few other people which I memorized very well (either as funny or very anoying).
For example two guys who were cleaning rooms. After we come back to Hurghada thay have noticed that we was not there, they asked as for our names, and they were remembering them! Also guys who were sitting on the corridor (i dont knwo why) they were all the time starting the discussin with me, but if you are quite often going from and to your room it starts to be anoying to say all the time hello, and they have a lot of questions prepared, smiling and flirting all the time. The some during meals. I was wondering why waiter was coming to me and saying that I look tired, or asking also some personal questions.
That was not os offensive, but I really had the impression that a lot of them were counting on something. Or maybe they were just bored with their job.

Improper behaviour

But some the behaviours were not accaptable at all. Once I was sitting after the dinner with my two egyptian friends next tot he pool. Suddenly I have heard "E ya mozza" what means "hola guapa". I know that sentence because I was overusing it when I was in Jordan, but only towards friends. It was the first time when I have heard that in Egypt to I started laughing so much. They guy got embaressed and run away. Afterwards he came to one on my friends and asked if I did understand that. He was so sorry. I didn't mind until it happened again. Then I answered that it was totally not professional and as a stuff he shouldn't behave like this. He was trying to shirk, but I was in the bad mood and I complain about that in the end of my stay.
But it was not the worsed. First 2 days we were in Hurghada with our egyptian friends. Guys who were sitting on corridor noticed that and started commenting. Once (after they kick them out of the hotel) they asked me where they are and said that we should "use the room", can you imagine?

Mixed cupples

I think I was the only person who didn't enjoy that. The whole Hurghada looked like dating spot for Easter European girls with Egyptian guys. While walking down the street in downtown you can see a lot of white girls in arms of Egyptians. It looked like picture of the perfect "summer love".

...Summer love or more...

Are the relationships between girl-tourist and guy-local only the summer flirt? Does it have a future? Staying just 2 days in Hurghada I got to know few love stories.

1. Diving instructor got merried with polish girl. They were living in Poland, but as he said they are not together any more because of her family who didn't accept him. (he was not typical Egyptian, with long hair, looked like rasta who is smoking weede all the time)
2. Waiter in one bar, who fall in love in the Slovak girl and was afraid that he will not get visa to visit her in Slovakia

I am sure that there was a lot of that kind of stories. Love stories. Asking why? Maybe you should see typical polish boyfriend :))) I do not give them big chances. I think I don't believe in the summer love. I think it is more about finding some attractions and experience something exotic.

Why I think that?
Conversation between 2 polish tourists in the bus to plane coming back home:
Girl1: Did you like your holidays?
Girl2: Yes, Hurghada is amazing. Let say I have met native (local inhabitant) [smile] you know what I mean, maybe I will come here next year.

Hurghada - another polish city on the world map

2008-07-25T17:17:00.003+02:00

Few months ago one of my egyptian friends has visited me in Poland. Her first impression was - "What a hall - everything on the streets in polish language!". Well somehow it was understandable, she was in Poland.

What I realized lastly - that not only in Poland everything on the streets might be in polish. I experienced that last two weeks in Hurghada in EGYPT. Somehow I was going to Egypt with expectations to experience egyptian everyday life, to have a problem with communication with people, to see everything on the streets written in arabic...

I got dissapointed. Firstly I came to the hotel ful of polish tourists. Noone there was even trying to use English. I was shocked when I have seen people saying "excuse me" to the foreign people in polish in the dinning room.
Then going out of the hotel. Walking down the street. Entering first shop to buy some juice. And... I heared Egyptian asking me in polish "hello, are you looking for water?". Afterwards it was happening all the time, everybody on the street was saying to me "dzień dobry" (good morning/hello).

It took me also some time to realize that almost everything is translated in to polish (or even worser written only in polish). While walking around the city I have seen I lot of advertisments in polish, information in the toilets not to put toilet paper into to toilet and many other differet important information.

Very popular was to write on the doors of travel agency - "here we speak polish". And they did! We entered one tourist agency to buy a diving trip. Altough we were there with egyptians friends over there guy who was talking with us was drinking out vodka and complaining about polish embassy in Cairo, because he didn't get visa and he was planning to go for language course in Warsaw.

It was before our trip to real Egypt, but after coming back I still have found some shocking polish accents. In da hotel we were having a nice dinner next to pool and of course what I have heared - the very old polish song;) And lastly in the airport - I went to the bar and there were two TVs with - polish channels!

Well maybe it shoudn't surprize me, maybe with polish people is the some like with spanish, they are not able to learn English so everybody around is learing their language.

Welcome to Cairo

2008-07-15T16:47:00.003+02:00

Finally I am in one of the biggest cities in the world (more then 20 millions) and you know it doesn't look so big. I have to say it is quite east to get used to busy streets and people all the time saying "Welcome to Cairo".

First day I spent in the nice hotel recommended by our friends. From outside it doesn't look like hotel - at first you have to enter from one of the busy streets and take a lift to the third floor to get to that place. from inside - amazing:) It was really nice especially during the breakfast where we went in our pijamas and we were explaining to other guests that they have to take everything by themselfs (what was of course not true - we just didn't know).

Then we had to move to other place - youth hostel. There were few options - to call a international cap (expensive one) or to go out on the street and try to take normal cap. Of course we decided to the second option. In the beginning it was not so easy because the drivers asked for 20 EGP and we were told that it should cost 10! but the third taxi driver took us for 10:) He was trying to speak to us in arabic:) it was really nice but I didnt understand anything.

Next - hostel. Very nice place. I was really surprised that you can get to good quality room for only 140 EGP for 2 people for 2 nights:) but we done it.

What I like the most in Cairo are small cafes, the local one where there are only egyptians smoking shisha:) And after having so long walk from out hostel to egyptian museum we decided to chill out in one of those cafes.

Well people are friendly, food in the local fast foods on the streets good, still the city looks a bit exotic, so what can I need more...

You would never believe - airport story

2008-07-06T02:10:00.008+02:00

Amman airport - people are waiting for flight to Istanbul, Aga is not there

People are getting into the place to Istanbul - Aga is still not there

All the people who were waiting are on the bord - Aga is not there

Amman Airport is sorry for Aga, she will not flight home tonight

But no!!! Aga is coming!!! How come? What happened?

read the whole story...

After two amazing weeks in Amman it was time to come back home. I went to the airport (with 4 more polish people and 4 swedish) to catch the plane Amman-Istanbul and then Istanbul-Warsaw. We came to the ariport with few friends but only people with tickets and passports could enter the airport so we say goodbye and went into the building.

Of course there was a lot of controls in the very baginning. First showing your passport and ticket to get into the airport, then lagguage and personal control. All females went to the special cabin and were searched (instead of going through the gates). After that my hand lagguage was marked that I have to go to the more detailed control.

Well that moment I was still having my passport in my hand. I went to the special table - IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AIRPORT WHERE WAS A LOT OF PEOPLE - and I have started taking out everything from my backpack (small one but I have a lot of things). The officer told that everything is OK and I have started packing.

Suddenly...

I realized my passport is gone. I am loosing a lot of things so I started looking for that. I was sure that it is in my backpack. Then I have asked polish group to help me, because I couldn't find it, and it is always better when someone else will look for that. After few minites the atmosphere was getting more seriuos and everybody was running around and looking for my pass. After around 30 minutes, after checking every lagguage by everyone, checking the movie from cameras on the airport - we didn't know where my passport is.

I am not flying with you...

Time for check-in was ending. I couldn't come so I told to my companeros de viaje that they have to check in, and take care about themselfs. In my head there was only one question - what next? I was trying to talk to those officers, but their English was pritty bad and they were saying all the time "don't worry" but not what to do.

After Polish Group came back from check-in we prepared they for going back and me for staying:
- i gave Ania all important documents - train tickets, other tickets and all I thought they might need
- I gave Ania all money thich we got for travel reinbursement
- I took the simcard with Jordanian number (I thought I will need that)
- I took from Grzes postcard to his Grandmather, he forgot to send
- I gave them all unnessesary stuff I had
- i ensure myself that I know what to do (with going to embassy, police and so one)

Looking on that from this perspective I was very calm and racional. I was freaking out only once, when I realized that I might not go to US for my exchange. Well of course staying longer in Jordan it will cost me a lot of problems in my University and my boss at work would freak out (especially that I was in the last phase of preparation to the next project, and only I knew whats going on). But from the other hand having a bit more holidays in Jordan it was tempting:)
I was laughing from to things - firstly we said with my Jordanian friends few hours ago - see you soon, and it was very soon, that noone was even dreaming about:) Secondly I had a lot of contacts with polish embassy in Amman already this year and it would be funny to go there and visit them and say that yes it's me the person who was anoying you for almost 2 months with calls, faxes, e-mail and so one:)

Splitting with the polish group

It was already time for me to go to police station and for polish group to go to transit. I have found some helpful people on the airport (especially the manager of Turkish Airlines - he was amazing! and so helpful thank a lot) and also that time I got SMS from one of my Jordanian friends, so I answered (I think not so polite) what happened and I was exchanging with him SMSes till everything was fixed.

I went to the police station on the airport, I was there not alone, of course I had to wait, but finally one policeman who could speak English came:) So some people were making the report and I was sitting and chatting with this one who could speak English. The guy from Turkish Airlines ensure me that I will not pay for a new ticket. I took some contacts where to call in order to rebook my ticket, I was getting my papers confirming that my passport was stolen (or I lost it - or something in between).

My phone start calling.

In the police station someone was trying to reach me. I was answering but there was no connections. Different numbers were calling finally - I have heard Ania, "We found it" - she was screaming - "We are next to the gate 12". I told it to this policeman who was standing next to me, so he run to take my passport, I took all my documents from the desk of policemen and the guy from Turkish Airlines start calling someone.

I still didn't know what is happening, it was late, I didn't know if I can fly tonight or not. But they stopped the plane and were waiting for me. This policeman who had my passport told me that he will not give it to me and he will company my till my plane. So I went with him to check-in. Noone was there but manager from Turkish Airlines was already calling someone who can open check-in (they even toom my backpack), when we went to border control, but there was no officer and they were also calling for someone, the funiest thing was that this guy even didn't have a pen and I had to borrow him.

And like that waking through the airport we afound gate number 12. Som eof my friends were already waiting for me. Big hug at first, then we started laughing. I couldn't stop. Last SMS that I am on bord, I sit down and felt that all the emotions are gone, totally! And not even connected with this situation, but also with all stay in jordan. It took me few seconds to put my Jordan's experience behind me, into some nice memories.

I was tired...

And where was my passport?

I still do not know how did they found it. They told me that my passport was in the pocket of one German guy. He realized that he has one additional passport and he gave it back. He told that he has no idea how this passport get into his pocket!

.

"You would never believe" - series

2008-07-06T02:03:00.002+02:00

Lastly I am laughing that everything that might happen it will happen to me. I hope that this series of articles will not me to long, by this I understand that nothing unusual will happen in the future.

First 3 articles will be about situations I faced all of them within one month. One story it is "elevator night" the next to you will see:)

Perfect holidays

2008-07-02T17:11:00.006+02:00

I have booked my holidays finally, everything is fixed, everything is paied - I have a plane on 10th of July 7p.m. from Lodz. I am flying to Egypt.

It was not easy to find something, especially when there are a lot of things to do inbetween. I have a bit more free but my friend with whom I am flying is so f**ing busy that even on our perfect holidays we will have to hurry up.

First problem we have to face it - if we will get on the airport on time. It is a bit risky. Why? Our plane take off at 7pm. It means we have to be at 5 pm on the airport. The airport is in another city around 250km from Wroclaw, where I live. There is no hiway connecting this two cities, there is even no fast way. There is only one road through a lot of vollages with a lot of cars:)
We cannot take any train or other public transport, because Ania (my friend) has exam that day and using any of the public transport she wont be able to go to exam. So there is only one possibility - take a car and go by car and be hopefull that Ania will finish fast and there wont be any traffic on the road.
And there is one more problem, someone has to drive this car. Ania has no driving licence, but she is claiming that she is a perfect pilot. It means I have to drive. Well - I am kind of unexperience driver. Well I have my lincence since 7 years already but i have never drive. I need to make 250 km one way and I think I haven't driven for more 250 km total in my life :) I have never overtaken a car and I am kind of fraid of other cars. But if Ania is not afraid to go by car with me I will do it:)

Plan for perfect holidays

Maybe at first some technical info - we are going to Hurghada, it is on the Red Sea. We took last minute offer Fortuna - what means that we have provided plane, 2 meals and insurence and a hotel, but we do not know where - someone will tell us after landing. We can get 3* hotel somewhere in the middle of nowhere or we can get 5* hotel in the beautiful area. I don't mind, most probably I will not spend there more the one night.

Still I do not know a lot about my perfect holidays - but till now plan is:
a) go to Hurghada and check out the place we got (to fulfil curiousity)
b) have fun with friends on the red sea (around 3 days)
c) move to Cairo - have fun, go shopping, absorb the culture (around 3 days)
d) move to Alex - meet old friends, go to JiJi, have fun, make a party, swim in the meda sea
e) go back to Hurghada - swim in the red sea for the last time and come back

So what ir the recipe for perfect holidays?

Take:
- a lot of free time
- nice places with palms
- nice places with water
- a bit of alcohol
- good friends (old friends and new friends)
- a bit of adventure
- a bit of lasyness
- a bit of fun
- a bit of partying
- a bit of flirting
- something exciting
- a lot of resting
- some luxury
- some backpacking
- a lot of pleasures
- some surprises
- something unknown
- obligatory spa and good massage
- feeling of being free
- photocamera

mix it all together - and you have your perfect holidays!

Getting the US visa

2008-06-28T16:38:00.007+02:00

"Visa is a really bad thing, there is a bad word for that" - told once my friend - "remove all borders, remove all borders please" - contunued.

I totally agree with that statement and I am thinking why countries are issuing visas? Only one answer is - money!

Well how it was with me. I had to take a train from Wroclaw to Krakow, because over there was a consulate. I went out home at 1 am, I got to train station where I was waiting almost one hour. Then I got into the train, where of course there was no places, only on corridor. So I was over there watching people who were fighting with themselfs. Well train had delay because in almost all stations police were coming, until finally they kick few people out of the train.

Coming to Krakow

Finally Krakow - I like this city, but I was a bit afraid to go there, becasue always when I am coming back I am totally sick! Anyway, this time I am still feeling OK.
I went to american consulate, there was a lot of people standing in front of the door. I came there and ask if I can come in when I still have around 30 min to my appointment. What I got to know that I have to join to the huge group of people standing in the opposite side of the street - there were some consulate emloyees who ON THE STREET were checking all the documents and giving numbers - I really couldn't believe of such a treatment.

Waiting, waiting and one more waiting

There was to much waiting, at first long time to scan my fingersprints and then waiting for a meeting with consul. Yhe waiting room was very small and very cold. There was not enough places for all the people and all the time someone were comming to say that people cannot go out from the room. I was at first sleeping a bit, then chatting with people. There were only or young or very old people. What surprised me it was that people was scared!

Meeting with Consul

Finally after long waiting I have heard my name. I went to other room where there was one person sitting in the small box, there was a window between us and we both were talking to microphone. "Hello, how are you" he started, he asked me why I want to go to US, and what I want to study; I answer shortly, he add that it will be interesting for me because of elections and he said that I am qualify for the visa and I will get my passport in 5 days. Thats all the meeting take like 5 minutes.

Ehhhh it took me one whole day to get there and come back just to have 5 minutes conversation with consul.

And someting about costs:

Travel to Krakow and back: 60 PLN
Fee for a meeting: 300 PLN
SEVIS fee: 250 PLN
Calling consulate: 20 PLN
Photo: 16 PLN
DHL fee: 23 PLN

TOTAL: 669 PLN what is about 200 euro!

Last minute - only one possibility

2008-06-26T20:26:00.005+02:00

You might think that I will write about "last minute" as the only one option to go finally for my holidays - thats of course true, but that's not what I mean.

"Last minute" thats the way of leaving. Why? I am asking myself simple questions and there is only one answer - last minute.

1. When do I send applications for new projects - always last minute (fortunately the post-office on market place in Wroclaw is open 24h
2. When do I go to my exmas - of course last minute (if it's not to late)
3. When do I send personal documents (like insurence...) - last minute
4. When do I pack myself when I am traveliing - last minute
5. When do I charge my mobile, computer and other stuff - last minute
6. When do I realize that I have to do something - last minute
7. When do I catch plane - last minute
8. even when do I think - always last minute :)

and so one... there are a lot of examples. I cannot do anything earlier. It makes my life very fast, stressfull and active. I don't like last minute, I want to stop that, but - well I guess it is impossible

I need holidays

2008-06-22T16:03:00.007+02:00

I need holidays sooo much. It doesn't matter that one month ago I came back from Jordan. This month was so intensive that I have to chill out and have a rest. So whats the plan?

1. Things to do before holidays

- pass all the exams
- get US visa and buy ticket to US
- write to final reports after youth exchanges
- prepare publication after project Time for Dialogue
- write final report after POKL project (from my work)
- be sure that I finished my work, clear my desk and made a final party
- write two new projects of youth exchanges - one in Spain (Malaga) and second in Latvia

well... looks not so easy, but after completing everything connetced with studies everything else seems like fun to me

2. Ideas for holidays

Since one week with my friend we are thinking what to do. One of the most often coming back idea is trip to Egypt, but we wanted also to go somewhere to the lake in Poland for camping, to go to Mano Chao concert in Wroclaw, hitch-hike to Paris, hitch-hike to Malaga, fly to Malaga, somehow move to Lisbon to find nice concert over there, and I have also promissed one of my firends from Latvia to visit her over there...

3. Trip to Egypt - is it realistic?

Yes it is... once with Ania we said, why not? and since then we keep looking for some nice offers. The plan is to find last minute - go there for 2 weeks and try to move all around Egypt. All of my friends know that our final destination will be Alex of course (Alexandria - city on Mediterranean sea). So how the preparations are going on? we were looking for last minutes, charters and normal flights. People last minutes is something amazing! it took me a lot of time, but I have found 2* hotel for two weeks with breakfasts and dinners and flight of course for 860 PLN what is 250 EURO! I am not sure if in this date we are interested this prize will be avaiable but we will see.

4. What is my dream holidays?

Spontaneous... I don't want to plan. I just have some golas, things I have to do being in Egypt, but when, how, it doesn't matter. So what are those things?

a) I want to ride a camel - I know maybe it's funny and typical, but I always wanted to do this
b) shopping in Cairo - well there is one scarf I really want to have:) I just want to have time and spend one day for shopping (the whole day)
c) Swim in meda and red sea.
d) Spend one night in JIJI in ALEX, from sunset to sunrise! I want to see them both one night
e) Make sightseeing trip one day - which main rule will be: don't take any map, don't look for monuments, go wherever you want to, and look for interesitng places by yourself
f) make one reunion party, with as many people as possible
g) tougch Abdallah's hair
h) don't be in hurry, don't rush, take time for youself, if you want to spend more time in the bathroom - spend it, if you want to wear makeup - wear it, if you don't want to - don't do it. Feel free
i) and the last think - I am looking foreward for many interesting conversation with people about politics, life, habbits, differencies, culture, everyday life

Well - there is one more thing, I want to do it spontaneous, I want to have some small globetrepping trip, because I want to check how it is to travel with Ania, we are planning one year trip to Asia soon, and before that I just want to check her:)

ending

I am really courious what will happened? if I would have my dream holidays?

My theory of being homeless

2008-06-18T15:21:00.004+02:00

Since long time already I am jocking that I am homeless. And I really believe it. How do I understand this term "homeless"? Thats the person who doesn't have home and is sleeping in different shelters or in the fresh air. For me being homeless is the situation when you have hause, or some place in any building but you don't have home.

Am I homeless? you can judge it yourself.

Starting from my sleeping place - well I have place to sleep, I have my bed, I have even my "own room". This place where I am sleeping quite often has one bed, one window, one desk, few closets. You can find there a lot of papers on the floor (my study materials), cloths mostly laying somewhere on the floor too. Wardrobe is always open, and cloths are hanging in it. I would say that I am using only things which are on the floor, rest... well I have no idea where is what. In all the closets you can find some wired toys from my childhood, cloths from times when I was 120 cm and much smaller, and some things which are only taking place. I dont remember when I lastly done my bed. I even don't have any sheet, and I am sleeping under the blanket.

How much time do I spend there in my "house"

I am working, studying, doing some voluntary work, organizing different stuff, answering a lot of phone calls, travelling - let's say I don't have time for anything. My typical day looks like that I am going out at 7am, at 8 I am already in the office, I am starting my day in the office from make-up and then breakfest. I am finishing my work at 4 pm. "Finishing" ! because usually I am staying there much longer. Mostly in the evening I have some meetings (either working in the bar on new project, either organizing film festival or simply I just want to dring a beer). Because my "place for sleeping" is quite far from everywhere. Because of that it is not worth to come back to this place during the day... and sometimes during nights too.

Places for sleeping

My motto is "you can sleep everywhere". This is very practical, especially if you normally don't have a lot of time for sleeping. In past few years I follow my motto. Quite often I used my friends flats, then of course offices (different kind of), university (I can recommand staircase), train stations (including Wrocław PKP), airports (in Amsterdam they have even beds), parks, bars, cinema and many others.

There are two my favourite places: first one it was really nice park in the city center of Lubljana. We hitch-hike with few friends over there, very spontaniusly and we didn't have any place. We bought some alkohol to warm up, we went to see nice concert and then we went around the city to find a nice place to spleep. And we found it. It was very nice park, and we were sleeping under the tree which was almost like a tent. Just in the morning there was a lot of people with dogs going around us:)

Second place it was cinema. It was kind of exciting because we broke in to the cinema. It was during film festival, and we were renting cinema - so it was not so illegal, we had keys, but I am not sure if we could be there. Well got into the place, it was not easy to force the door (even when we had keys), but finally we manage, just w couldn't close doors. Just in the morning people in the cinema were quite shocked.

Travelling

In my room in the corner there is a backpack. Still there are some cloths inside. I have also beautician already packed. It looks like this because I am travelling a lot. Sometimes I can go in 3 different places during one month. I already wrote how exhausting it might be, but also there are once more a lot of places to live, new roomates. Right now I am preparing myself for leaving in one place for 4 months! (of course abroad) and I think it is long enough to prepare a cosy place... what can I take to my new room?

Ending

I don't know if you also think that I am homeless, I feel like that. Sometimes I am dreaming to have place and time to make some cosy place, to invite friends over, organize party or just chill out. Maybe someday I will find this place...

Best practicies

If you are planing the life like that, always on the way, always in hurry remember about some important things.

1. Always have tooth-brush in every bag (you never know when you will need it, and bags you are changing quite often);
2. Buy a small and light laptop - you never know which data you will need, having laptop always with you is very useful;
3. You have to feel good, if you feel like stinking find place where you can take a shower - don't be shy, you can always call your friends, it wont be a problem if you will use a bit of theis shampoon
4. If you need clean cloths borrow or buy them:)

wish you all the best...

Open Your Borders It's Time for Dialogue

2008-06-15T18:17:00.003+02:00

"Open the Borders, it's Time for Dialogue" - this beautiful quote were singing participants of the project I have done in Wroclaw (Poland) in April 2008. I like this quote even more now, it gain for me new meaning, deeper one, more personal.

The first idea behind this quote was to speak up about problems we faced while preparing for exchange. We wanted to make euro-med youth exchange about intercultural dialogue; we have invited people from 6 countries (3 EU and 3 meda) and we were so close not to have our time for dialogue, because people from meda countries couldn't get visa. We were fighting for 2 months with administration, finally the group from Egypt didn't come and group from Jordan got visa in the last moment, one guy went to the embassy in the day when he flew to Poland.

But there is something more then just the borders we cannot cross because of visa. To have intercultural dialogue we need to cross our personal, mental borders. What's that?

1. Lack of knowledge about "others"
2. Personal stereotypes
3. Prejustices
4. Being ashamed of asking
5. Lack of patient and forbearance
6. Being self-oriented

I realized plenty of times that intercultural dialogue is not easy. When you are meeting someone cultural different from you, first days are amazing, you are learning each other, having fun. But later on you are starting freaking out, you don't know why. There might appear some situation, that you don't know why but you are getting into some conflicts with people. There are a lot of misunderstandings between people, which build conflicts. Most of us, instead of try to solve problems, they are building theories. Misunderstanding some behaviours of "others", some expressions and basing on this they are building the negative impression about this person.

Solution? Don't try to guess what other person think. Don't over-react! Respect what people are saying! OK, it was quite general and ideal, but from my personal experience if you are talking about something and it looks that conflict may appear or you feel that the second person doesn't understands you - DEFINE WORDS YOU ARE USING! and in what context they were used.

Be aware that if you say to someone "you are stupid" as a joke, for some it can be funny, but some can be really thought. And there is many other examples...

Open Your Borders, It's Time for Dialogue

elevator night

2008-06-15T12:03:00.004+02:00

One of the purpose why I have started writing this blog is "save memories" mostly from my travels (I think that this word "travel" will appear in this blog quite often). I still haven't decided if I want to share those "saved moments" with my friends or not, we will see. Besides those moments are important for me, I will not say that they changed my life, but they were somehow enriching, funny, unforgettable and simply worth remember and sometimes come back to them.

One of those moments I would live to save is "elevator night" - the name was created just after "the moment" by it's participants. But let's start from the very beginning. I would say "elevator night" has started in the place called "beer garden" in Amman, Jordan. I was spending some amazing time over there with my friends. I enjoyed that evening because I have spent time with people I really wanted to spend time with, I had few interesting conversation for example about implementing communism in Palestine, I have found other traveller (pilot) with whom I was talking about our best journeys and I was helping him with bottle of vodka, ordered just for him. In gerenal, very nice evening.

We were coming back home as the last ones. I think we were around 12 people, all willing to continue the party. Because in Amman everything was already closed, we decided to move to hotel, to room number 309. We arrived to hotel, got out from the car and get into the elevator in order to continue party on the 3rd floor...

Door closed, elevator moved, then the information to which floor we are going, disappeared and we stucked in the elevator. I am trying to remind myself reaction of people. There was no panic in the very beginning, just all started screaming and calling to ensure that someone will take care about us. Fastly we came up with en idea to open the door to get more air. Ehab, guy from Palestine was communicating, rest was patient - very racional reaction.

Somehow the atmosphere wasn't that nice. In the beginning we was starting hugging and cooperating, but then there was rather feeling of stress around. I was hiding quite often and laughing a bit and I have seen a lot of people wanted, but "society" didn't accept such a behaviour, so we didn't. We were serious.

The crutial moment was when one person fainted. That moment I realized that situation might be somehow serious, but I was not afraid: from one side one guy explained how lifts are build and there is no way that something would happened, from the second hand we had 2 doctors with our.

I was very surprised with reaction of many people. One girl told that she will call her parents after getting out, and she was afraid that we might not get out, one guy was about to faine too, someone wanted just jug someone else.

In the meantime someone came to us. They were trying to lift elevator to the first floor, then put it down to the ground floor; sometimes light was disappearing. Finally something had happened. Someone jumpped on the elevator and remove the ceiling. It was almost like in the movie "Die Hard". There were firemens and Jordanian Civil Defense forces telling: "give us hands, give us hands", and they were taking one by one out of the elevator. It this moment I gos scared. I really didn't want to go that way, I was thinking, maybe to wait until they will fix the lift. But finally my friends lifted me, then I catch someone's hands and went up. When I was standing on elevator there was not so much climbing anymore, I don't remember exackly how far was that, but far enough to get totally dirty.

When we got out finally - everyone was hugging us, supporting, like after the huge tragedy. There were firemans, jordanian civil defence forces, ambulance and even psychologist! Someone asked me if I am ok, I said: yes, they put something on my finger and said: "yes, you are fine". I didn't want to be over there. Someone was crying, people were in so bad moods, and I was just afraid what have we done! We were to much in this elevator.

But fun started in front of the hotel. We were taking photos with ambulance and with each other; we were just sitting and chilling out, that's what we really needed.

Night ended finally in 309, where we planned to go in the very beginning. Whole night we were sitting, chatting listening to music; being honets it was amazing time, and so integrating for us. We had to fight with our fears together, we needed to cooperate and be helpful for others. This episode change the whole project. We become elevator group hanging around together.

What was interesting: in the elevator there was 10 people, we had gender balance, but within this 10 people 5 of them were Poles!

I need to decide where to live

2008-06-15T10:46:00.003+02:00

traveling... isn't it interesting, tempting, exciting...

Of course it is, I am addicted to traveling, since I remember, and for sure since last 6-7 years I am traveling a lot. One day Warsaw, second Amsterdam, them maybe Philippines, but I cannot stay there longer after the training because I am starting another one somewhere in Poland and of course in the mean time I have few "important" meetings.

I love this life. I do. Small problem is that Europe is a bit to usual for me right now and I need something more. I cannot get excited when I see something, even beautiful, even interesting, even when I have never seen it before. I am just going to another country, another place and feeling like at home, isn't it wired?

The most important thing in travelling are people. Mostly I am attending or leading different seminars, youth exchanges or other type of meetings, which aims are: intercultural learning, dialogue between cultures and so one. So mostly I am going to different country to meet people. And fuck!, I have to say that those who wanted integrate me with "others" (here I understand just other people, not from my city, those to whom I don't have easy access to) has really succeeded! Because of that when I want to complain of my university I am opening msn and chatting with friend from Egypt, when I want to talk about guys I am writing to friend from France or Latvia and in one moment it's better. I didn't know what to do during new years eve - I took the train, went to Prague and realized that there was much bigger group of friends who done the some. It was amazing.

But sometimes I am asking myself how is my life here, in the city where I live?

Do I have life here? I would say yes, it's not that bad. I have work and amazing people over there, I have some groups of friends from the "old times", I have university, but I will not call them friends. The problem is that I don't care; I don't care about those people as much as about my "others", foreigners.

I am afraid about myself. Lastly is even worser. I have two intensive months of travelling and most of the time I was with the some people (just different places). It was so intensive, we were living together, having stupid problems together, falling in love with each other, sharing our secrets (btw. this is easier with people whom you will not see again, therefore it is so integrating). And now I came back home and I cannot come back to my normal life. That life move to facebook. So in the office I am checking what's new. After school I am coming back home and looking on people's profiles. I can still see the conflicts which we had somewhere away. I am following how people are still flirting with each other (maybe even without knowing about that). There is our second life! I cannot believe. And what is the worse - it takes too much time!!!

When I am looking forward, I know that next year will be the some. I will get to know new people, spend with them few amazing month, doing everything with them and then I would move out to some other place. Shall I just avoid getting closer with people or shall I go like this and then miss "the moments". How to deal with it?

NEXT TIME: most probably I will write my theory about being homeless:)